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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 648
Original Upload date May 25, 2012
Running time 0:05:13
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Wink submitted by WheezyWaiter
Episode chronology
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"Hot Side of the Moon"
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"Wheezy Barcelona"


Transcript (in progress)

Thank you for focusing, Chyna.
- Oh, you're recording.
I might be recording.
- You are recording.
I think I'm just gonna walk and talk and ramble our whole trip to Spain, if that's okay with you.
- Okay. Gosh, I'm not good at this this morning.
I'm sure whatever's on screen looks very beautiful right now.
Focused yet?
- No.
In focus now?
- I don't know.
How about now? Is it in focus?
- I don't know. It's really hard to tell.
I have a question for you. Is it in focus right now?
- Maybe.
Oh yeah.
Always take your garbage out before you go on a trip. You may think that you smell bad when you come home, but it might be your garbage. And you.
Garbage garbage garbage. Garbage.
Did we get the garbage?
- Yeah.
Good job.
So beardlovers, now that the meteor isn't plummeting towards Earth anymore, we can go about living our lives. So that's what Chyna and I are doing.
Don't worry. This video isn't about the meteor.
We went to eat last night, and we told the waitress that I'm allergic to all nuts except peanuts.
This video also isn't about food.
And we also told her I'm allergic to centaur meat. So we had to substitute minotaur meat. That part is actually completely false.
Don't worry. This video is not about mystical creatures or high fantasy.
So despite our warning, she brought out fried cheese curds with dipping sauce that had pine nuts in it. Don't worry. She warned us about it. In her mind. Probably maybe. Because I ate it, and I went to the hospital. That's fun. I made an iPhone video about it. Linked in the doobly-doo.
But this isn't about iPhone videos or the hospital.
When I eat nuts, my throat swells up. I get hives. I get a stomach ache. It's hard to breathe. Did you ask if this had nuts in it?
- Double nuts.
Why would you... Why would you do that?
- It goes well with poison.
I'm allergic to poison too!
- Also to bee stings.
Bee stings? I'm not allergic to bee stings. But they hurt!
- Everyone's allergic to pain.
And this video isn't about airplanes taking off. And you shouldn't operate electronics while airplanes are taking off. Even though Mythbusters disproved that.
- It looks like we should be landing there within the next 20 minutes. Around 5 miles per hour.
So all those allergic reactions happened to me in the hospital but they took care of it, and it was fine. Until we got the bill.
So we got the bill, and ... Where are we?
- We're in Spain.
Really? Already?
- Mm hmm.
Didn't you say everyone's allergic to Spain?
- No. Pain.
Oh. Rhymes. They get me every dime.
- Time?
What did I say?
So here it is. Barcelona, Spain. Some of it. It's not a whole thing. There's more to Barcelona.
Also we're having a meetup slash gathering slash shindig tomorrow, Saturday. Info in the doobly-doo.
So anyway, back to the hospital. When they brought the bill, I started thinking, Why do we have to think about numbers at a time like this? Shouldn't we be thinking about just saving my life, and we can worry about that later? Why do numbers have to come into play?
It'd be nice to be worried about the quality of healthcare as opposed to the quantity.
And that's a real problem, especially in America, but we're not talking about the healthcare debate.
I mentioned numbers. A ha! That's what we're talking about. Look at the title of the video.
So, many of you hardcore YouTube watchers out there probably have been noticing views declining, subscribers declining, for everyone across the board on YouTube. Some people are being kicked off of channels they're subscribed to. The sub boxes aren't publishing to everybody all the time. This is really annoying for people who are watching and who subscribed to things that they want to watch and are not watching.
And this is really annoying for people who are starting out and want to gain an audience. I get that.
But I think to a large extent we have to try to ignore numbers. So a few nights ago a lot of top YouTube people were tweeting about this YouTube decline. So I tweeted. All we can do is make the best content we can... or wait tables. I probably should have said and/or wait tables and posted a link to a waiter who was holding up a table of contents. Get it? 'Cause content. 'Cause ha ha! I guess it's funnier 'cause I'm picturing him without pants on.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is YouTube is a business, and they have no obligation other than to make their own money.
We can complain all we want, but at the end of the day they're not a government. They don't have to listen to the voters. They can do whatever they want to do.
I'm not saying you shouldn't complain. Complain all you want. Ugh! I'm so angry!
But I think the best thing you can do, and the best thing you can probably do in any situation, is stop paying attention to the numbers. Worry about what you're making. The value of what you're making.
In a way, this is kind of liberating for me. For a while I was having subscriber growth and views, and it was really exciting, and then I started only paying attention to that. Or paying too much attention to that.
But that's not what this is about at all. This is about making stuff that I'm proud of. And having my shirt off in front of thousands of people as much as possible.
Well, easy for you to say, Craig. You have lots of subscribers. And a beautiful shirtless body.
True, I've already found an audience, and it might be even harder to do it if you're just starting out. I'm not sure. As far as my shirtless body goes, I was just born with a gift. I have to share it.
But it was no picnic either for me when I started. I didn't even know it would lead to a career. I just did it 'cause I enjoyed it.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is if you're trying to do something better with your career or your life, just find something you enjoy, learn to do it well, and do it a lot. And don't worry about the numbers.
But remember to enjoy the trip, as I hope you've enjoyed mine so far. If you don't enjoy it, it's a waste of time. I hope this video didn't waste your time. I did end with my shirt off, so... it probably feels like it was all worth it.
So the website I use to download the wink videos isn't working in Spain. Therefore... Someone just chatted with me on Gmail right when I winked. That ding just coincided. That's amazing.

Recurring elements

[Coming soon]

External links

Numbers on YouTube