Nerds, Jocks, Musicians, Pimps & Druggies
|"Nerds, Jocks, Musicians, Pimps & Druggies"|
|Original Upload date||January 4, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||tulleightalksaplenty|
Good morning, it's Monday. The first Monday of 2010. The four-day weekend is over. And thank goodness. It was filled with nasty sinful decadence from which we as a society may never recover. I lost four teeth. Don't worry. They weren't mine.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Speaking of teeth, you may not know this about me, but I have gold teeth. Wait for the punchline. Wait for the punchline. [Shines the light into his mouth where we can see his gold teeth.] Boom! No punchline! Reality! [drum rimshot] I said... I said no punchline.
Another thing you may not know about me is I have a full-time job and to do these videos, I get up two hours earlier.
And you may also be wondering about this right here. [points to a scratch on his nose]
[Title on screen: 10 minutes ago.] [Annotation on screen: Clearly a reenactment] [Black and white clip of Craig:] Good morning, it's Monday. The first Monday of two thousand... [falls forward, falling asleep]
Wait... [sniffs] you smell that? You probably don't smell that. It smells like the coffee's done. Yeah! I love it when the coffee's done! Woo! [gets up and leaps toward kitchen] Yeah!! [does jumping jacks] Yeah! Yay! [Runs around in a circles. Leaps in air. Punches air in front of him. Runs into kitchen. Comes out with coffee mug. Sits down, breathing heavily.] Oh, I really need this coffee. So exhausted.
[holding up mug to camera] That's right. Settlers of Catan mug. Just a second. [rolls dice] Oooh, 8. I get a wood. [holds up wood card] Now I just need a brick and I can build a road.
You might not know what I was talking about. Settlers of Catan is a really fun board game. If you're a nerd, you should check it out. If you're a jock, I apologize. Wait, I have something for you.
[Craig, sipping coffee, does bicep curls with a weight.] Mmm. Feel the tone.
There. That should please everybody. Except musicians. Oh! [holds up toy keyboard. plays a note. give a thumbs-up.]
Oh, and pimps and druggies. [pause] No, they'd like Settlers of Catan.
It's time for breakfast with Craig in a Wig. Take it away, Craig. In a wig.
[Craig with a Wig stands near the fridge.] Today on Craig in a Wig, we're cooking blueberry waffles. Throw the *ding*ing waffles in the toaster. [shot of waffles in toaster] Slap some stupid syrup on there. [shot of syrup being poured onto waffles] Eat it and then go back to your *shirt*ty life. [Craig with a Wig eats waffle] [Craig sings the theme song as we watch Craig with a Wig eat:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig. [toy piano note] [Craig with a Wig smiles].
Craig in a Wig is kind of a jerk. I'd like to get rid of him but I can't. He's me.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Craig with a Wig, eating a waffle, rolls the dice:] 8! I get a wood. Ah, the thief is on my 8. *Ding*!
[Craig holds toy keyboard and sings:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig [hits note on keyboard. Smiles and looks at camera.]
[Title: If you'd like to wink in a video leave it as a video response.]
This is the first time the offscreen drummer gets the timing of the rimshot wrong, resulting in an ill-timed rimshot.
It's also the first time Craig says "I love it when the coffee's done!".
This is the first appearance of Craig with a Wig.
Nerds, Jocks, Musicians, Pimps & Druggies on YouTube