Nepotistic baseballistic missile

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"nepotistic baseballistic missile"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 34
2007
Original Upload date July 26, 2007
Running time 0:03:42
Wink submitted by WheezyWaiter
Great People
Guests: Craig's dad
Craig's mom
Craig's sister Melissa
two other passengers in car
guy at ballpark who says "Potty time."
Episode chronology
← Previous
"wheezy warden?"
Next →
"teaser"

Video

Transcript

Greetings. It's July 26th. Whoaaaaaaa! [Wheezy, in front of a green screen, appears to be flying through the air. Flies/runs into his apartment.]
Whew, I'm back. And guess what? I got a new camera. Here's how I did it. All I did was go to the movie I made last week Tuesday and repeat the part where I put money into the donation button over and over again until I had enough money for a camera. Nah, my parents helped me. Lame, I know. Thanks Mom and Dad.
It's alright, though. It runs in the family. I come from a long line of camera purchasers. My father purchased a camera. [Picture of Stanley Kubrick] My father's father purchased a camera. [Picture of Stanley Kubrick.] And my great great father purchased a camera, I believe, as well. [Picture of Stanley Kubrick] See the family resemblance? [Three side by side photos of Wheezy and Stanley Kubrick]
When people find success because of their ties to a successful relative, it's called nepotism. No, not pessimism. Or gecko prison. Or apple bosom. Hmm. Another good reason to put 'boobs' in the tags.
Many deservedly successful people get accused of nepotism simply because they come from a successful family. This is bullcrap.
This guy deserves his success. [Photo of EW cover with Jakob Dylan] So does this guy. [photo of Pauly Shore] And these girls. [Photo of Nicky and Paris Hilton] And this girl. [Photo of Ashlee Simpson] And this guy. [Photo of George W. Bush] And this guy. [Photo of Jim Belushi] That's actually Jim Belushi not his brother John.
So you wanna know where I flew in from? I went to a baseball game last weekend with my parents. My state team is doing pretty good this year. You know, that team out by the Great Lakes. No, not the Detroit Tigers. On the other side of the lake. No, not Toronto. Not the Twins either. The Milwaukee Brewers! If I were a bettin' man, which I am, and I were into baseball, which I'm not, I would have to bet that the Brewers are gonna go to the World Series this year. What's the matter? Got a problem with that? Don't care. Not really into baseball.
[Voiceover over footage of Craig between a passenger in the front seat and his dad, who's driving:]
Nepotism may have given me tickets to the game but it didn't guarantee a comfortable car ride.
The Benzine broads. [shot of three women in the backseat of the car]
Obligatory stadium shot.
These boys had a vendetta against cones. [Two boys knocking down orange cones]
And a floral sensibility that made the ladies swoon. [A boy tries to give a flower to a girl who runs away and then hits him.]
[Wheezy imitates his dad, who's looks suddenly out the window] Hey, is that a squirrel?
First things first.
[Unidentified guy:] Potty time!
And then?
[Woman:] Brewer game!
[Craig in stands, shooting field behind him:] Alright!
[Shooting sections of people behind big advertisements] These people will give you Nicholas Investments. These people change your motor oil. [A section of people without an advertisement] And these people don't do shit.
Uh oh! What's that in the sky? Aliens? Terrorists? [Goodyear blimp] Luckily the stadium was equipped with anti-aircraft missiles. [fireworks] And it was all taken care of. [Picture of the Hindenburg]
[An older guy throws a pitch:] Boy, they sure are retiring later and later these days. And rookies are being recruited at quite a young age. [A few toddlers on the field with their moms.]
Hey dad, what are you gonna do today?
[Craig's dad:] Get drunnnnk! [sips a beer]
What a fun mascot! [films the mascot and then nearby a sign that says KKK] That seems inappropriate.
[Films a cameraman and his big camera] Who's filming who, asshole?
Oh yeah, and a bunch of people played baseball.
I think I could grow to love this sport. [Craig imitates a baseball statue]
So I've been gone a little while. Let's see all the awesome comments you guys sent me under my last movie. [Shows where it says zero comments.]
Yours Truly picking out the flaws in my movies again. Aww you.
[looks confused]
[Sound of crickets plays over a shot of where it says "No comments yet"]
Gluebrass! Good suggestion! I may just do that. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.
[Looks confused] But......?
Hmm. the internet says this is the best blog ever created ever. Wow! You're great. I watch it all the time. [Craig films himself holding up a piece of paper to his monitor with this comment written on it.] Thanks, internet!
[Wheezy looks pensive.]
Remember that song about friendship that I wrote about you guys? Heh heh heh.
Remember the tour of my apartment? Heh heh heh.
Oh yeah, and I went to the corner store too that time. Heh heh. Yeah. Funniness.
[Pensive Craig again]
Where are you guys? I thought we had a good thing going.
What....? [begins to fake cry] What happened?
See you soon! [wink (ding)]
Oh yeah, and I saw Lake Wisconsin again. [Shot of Craig pointing at Lake Wisconsin] Yeah!

Recurring elements

wheezies, "get drunk!", wink

Related videos

Wheezy references his song about friendship which appears in the video To Friends, the trip to the corner store that happened in Corner Store, and the tour of his apartment which happened in leave it to cleavage. His final reference to Lake Wisconsin is a reference to his video Home.

External links

nepotistic baseballistic missile on YouTube