Moving Out (Clone Point of View)
|"Moving Out (Clone Point of View)"|
|Original Upload date||April 26, 2011|
|Wink submitted by||—|
[Sexy Clone is cleaning the stove. Quiet Clone is doing the dishes. Another clone is wiping the floor.]
[Sexy Clone uses a towel to whip the pans hanging by the stove:] Hey-o!
[Clone cleaning the floor:] Where's Original Craig, guys? Guys! We're gonna be done with chores soon. What are we gonna do? I guess we go to the alligator pit, huh? [gasps] What if something happened to him? I'm gonna use my clone phone and give him a call.
[Quiet Clone murmurs:] All he cares about is... [murmurs unintelligibly]
[Sexy clone:] Caring about stuff is unsexy, bro.
[Clone, on the phone:] Hey, Craig. We're almost done with our chores. So...
[We can barely hear Craig on the other side of the phone:] I'm not coming back.
[Craig:] You're free.
[Craig:] Hooraaaay! Bye.
[Clone:] He says he's not coming back. He says we're... free.
[Quiet Clone reacts in surprise, looks at Sexy Clone. Quiet Clone drops the dish and runs. Sexy clone throws his arms in the air and runs away from stove:] Hooray! We're free!
[Clone:] Yeah! I'm gonna finish cleaning Craig's floor. And then I'm gonna move on to Craig's dishes. They smell like old food. Just like Craig!
[Sexy Clone is standing on Craig's bed, popping his collar. The other clone is washing the floor.]
[Quiet Clone slides into frame/singing rug] [As Quiet Clone talks... well, murmurs... Sexy Clone starts walking a catwalk, strutting on Craig's bed]
[Quiet clone, murmuring:] Hey beardlovers. So today, in the news, [shows article] record flooding in the Midwest. This is ridiculous. I mean, am I right? Am I right? Am I right?
[Revenge clone leans in from the kitchen:] What's going on?
[Sexy clone:] Me. That's what. Oh yeah.
[Quiet clone, murmuring quietly:] I'm having the time of my life, and I've never felt this way before.
[Clone:] I'm cleaning Craig's floors! Then I'm cleaning Craig's dishes. Then I'm laying in Craig's bed. Then I'm...
[Revenge clone:] Who's this guy?
[Sexy clone and Quiet clone shake their heads.]
[Revenge clone:] And why's he wearing a different shirt?
[Clone:] I looked up what he was wearing on Facebook today cause I wanna look just like him when he gets home. I love Craig!
[Revenge clone:] Creepy. Anyway, he's got the right idea. We have to keep up appearances. Get to the chores. Craig'll be home any minute.
[Sexy clone starts laughing. Quiet Clone laughs. Quietly.]
[Revenge clone:] What? Don't laugh at me. WHAT?
[Quiet clone starts murmuring quietly:] Craig said he's not coming back. We're free to do whatever we want... [murmurs unintelligibly]
[Revenge clone:] Why does Quiet Clone always explain first? Sexy, what's going on?
[Sexy clone:] We're free to roam, man. Available. [does his sexy biting thing] We're out there. We ain't never coming back. [makes purring sound and kissy face to camera]
[Revenge clone:] That's even worse. I can't hear past the sexy. What'd he say, stalker clone?
[Stalker clone:] He said he's not coming back. We're free! I will find him one day.
[Sexy clone:] Oh yeah! [pumps his fist a few times, grunting]
[Quiet clone also pumps his fist, murmuring excitedly]
[Revenge clone:] This is horrible. How will I get my revenge?
[Stalker clone:] What are you revenging anyway?
[Revenge clone:] I have my reasons... that I can't remember right now. [to camera:] Maybe they can tell me in the comments. [back to clones:] But this is an outrage! We have to bring him back so I can kill him! [Sexy Clone and Quiet Clone sigh, disappointed.]
[Stalker clone:] Hooray! He's coming home! I'll do my best.
[Revenge clone:] Shut up. Let's make a plan.
[The four clones sit at the kitchen table.]
[Revenge clone:] First, I call and tell him there's an emergency to get him to come back here. And then we kill him! How do we kill him?
[Quiet Clone mumbles and murmurs:] I'm not sure we should bring him back here... [murmurs unintelligbly]
[Revenge clone:] Someone else, please.
[Sexy clone:] I kinda like being free, actually. I've never had so much time to work on my abs and my quads and my glutes and my slabs.
[Revenge clone:] Pretty sure you made up slabs.
[Sexy clone:] Pretty sure they're better than yours. Jealous.
[Stalker clone:] Ooh. How about I come at him with a knife? [holds up knife] He left me.
[Revenge clone:] That's the one.
[Quiet Clone holds up phone, sneaks off to the bathroom. In the bathroom, he murmurs into the telephone.] Craig, it's a trap. Don't come home.
[We can barely hear Craig on the other side of the phone]
[Craig:] Hello? Is this Quiet Clone?
[Quiet Clone:] Revenge clone is setting a trap.
[Craig:] I can't hear a word you're saying.
[Quiet Clone continues murmuring:] It's not an emergency. Don't come home.
[Craig, talking over Quiet Clone's murmuring:] I told you, you don't have to worry. Free rein. It's all yours. Bye forever.
[Quiet Clone:] Don't come home. It's not an emergency. [Quiet Clone hangs up]
[title on screen: a few minutes later]
[Revenge clone, on the phone:] Umm, yeah, Sexy Clone... uh... dropped a bunch of body oil into the whale's blowhole. He's dying. It sucks. Yeah. Oh yeah, and the alligator got out and ate a clone. No! No! It's going down the street to the school and it's gonna eat a bunch of kids. Oh, and the toaster broke. I mean, the coffee machine broke! Yep. Yep, you're summarizing everything I just said. Yep, yep. Uh huh. You're believing every word of it. That's right. Okay, bye. [hangs up] He's on his way. [standing in front of the door] Alright, everybody, you know what to do. [Sexy Clone shrugs in confusion and Quiet Clone looks confused.] Nothing. Let Stalker Clone run at him with a knife. [Stalker Clone leans out of the bathroom, holding a knife, and waves] Now let's go hide. [Everyone goes to hide.]
[Craig opens the door to his apartment:] I came home as fast I could.
[Stalker Clone runs out from the bathroom with a knife.]
[Craig:] Is everything okay? [sees the clone with the knife and cries out, runs away] [Revenge Clone peeks through the doorway]
[Craig trips and falls on the floor near the fridge. The clone brandishing the knife falls on top of Craig (out of frame) with the knife raised]
[Revenge Clone, laughs, still peeking through door:] We tricked you! Now you shall die! [laughs]
[Craig stands up.] No. The clone has not defeated me. But you're right. I have mistreated all of you clones. I have no will to live. Get to the alligator pit... me. [walks to alligator pit and jumps in]
[Revenge Clone:] I guess the plan worked! Come on, let's go. I have more plans for us! [hurries towards the door, which we hear close behind him.]
[Stalker Clone (or is it Craig?) gets up off the floor.]
[Stalker Clone calls from the alligator pit:] Hey Original Craig, did they buy it?
[Craig:] Yeah. What...?
[Stalker Clone:] Sorry I attacked you with a knife. I had to save you. I love you, Craig. [Alligator munches. The clone cries out as he dies.]
[Craig:] What was that about?
This is the first appearance of Stalker clone.
This is the alternate point of view of the video Moving Out.
This was posted to youtube on April 27th but Craig posted it to his wheezywaiter.com on April 26th, which is why it's listed here as April 26.
Moving Out (Clone Point of View) on YouTube