[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Craig is in his car]
Hey beardlovers. I'm about to leave Chicago and go up and visit my family in Wisconsin in my brand new Ford Fiesta. Woo! Let's see how she drives.
[Shot of freeway:] Hmm. Looks like traffic's just as bad in the Fiesta.
The Belvedere Oasis. You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. A midpoint between Chicago, Illinois and Marshall, Wisconsin. A nexus on the lonely wanderer's journey. Hovering above like a beacon. Forever whispering "Come inside. We will not hurt you." But is it a lie? Or the only truth there is?
Got McDonalds. [holds up McDonalds cup] Yum yum.
[singing along to radio:] And I wait without you. With or without you aaah... Nothing left to lose, and you give and you give... waaaaaooooo, waaaaaaooooo.
Made it home. Let's show my Fiesta to my dad.
[Craig's dad, about to eat an egg:] Mmm.
Hey Dad, come up check out my new Ford Fiesta!
[Craig's dad gets up suddenly. Craig rushes outside, smiling. Craig's dad also rushes outside, smiling. His smile drops. Shot of Craig's old car. Craig, still smiling, looks from the car to his dad and back to the car.]
[Craig's dad:] That's your old car.
[Craig:] Oh, that's right, I haven't gotten it yet. Let's go celebrate that Jesus thing.
[Craig's dad:] Easter.
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
[Craig's dad, holding an egg:] Mmm. Happy Easter to me! [goes to put the egg in his mouth. Stops and holds it in front of his mouth for a second or two.]
[Craig's dad winks (ding)]
beardlovers, Ford Fiesta Movement, wink
Midweaster on YouTube