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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 534
Original Upload date July 31, 2011
Running time 0:02:50
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro video game outro
Wink submitted by boreddomness
Great People
Guests: Jeff Samuels
Matt Weber
Sam Grant
audiences in Phoenix, Tempe, VidCon, and San Francisco
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Where we are Going"
Next →
"Competition 101"



[Jeff is driving. Looks down.] Guys!
[Craig:] Hmm?
[Matt, sitting in the passenger seat, queezing some lotion into his hand:] What?
[Sam sleeping]
[Jeff:] We have to buttswipe to the left right now. [The guys look confused.] Go! Swipe now! [Matt swipes to the right.] No! Your other left!
[Matt:] My bad. [He swipes to the left.]
[The van swipes to the left as a meteoroid hits the road where the van was just driving.]
[Craig:] Whoa! We just missed that meteor!
[Jeff turns his head and looks into camera.]
[Matt:] What? What are you looking at? Do you want sunscreen?
[Jeff, still looking at camera:] Not yet.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hey beardlovers. Had a great show in Phoenix. [shot of Phoenix audience waving and cheering.] And Tempe. [Shot of Tempe audience wooing and waving.] And a pretty good show at VidCon [shot of VidCon audience cheering and waving]
[Sam punches him] Ow! My face! Do it again. [Sam punches him again.] Ow my face again! [Gets punched again] Ow! Stop punching me, Sam! [Gets punched again] Ow! [And again] Ow! [And again] Ow! [And again] Ow!
And now we're heading into San Francisco where we're playing tonight. And on Tuesday we got a show in Portland at the Twin Paradox at 7 pm. Hooray! [Canned applause.] Applause applause. Applaud for me, Sam. [Sam applauds.] Look at the camera not the monitor. [Sam looks at camera and applauds.]
We're hoping tonight's show in San Francisco will be a full house! [Sam and Craig start singing the theme to 'Full House.'] We already did that in a video once before. [points to clickable annotation]
This car is going slightly faster than us. Now we're going faster than it.
[Sam:] I hate that car.
I think they're trying to get in the video.
As the tour goes on, we're having difficulty conserving space. [Sam drapes some laundry over Craig's head. Now Craig is sitting really high up so his head is at the top of the van.] What am I sitting on? I didn't notice I was sitting on anything. [Shot of him sitting on a cooler.] Oh yeah. Ugh, my wallet. [Pulls his wallet out of his pocket.] Ah, that's better.
[Shot of the venue in San Francisco] So that's where we're playing tonight.
I just wanna let you know that tomorrow I'm putting up a video that I did in my apartment before I left for tour. So it doesn't mean that I'm back home yet. Just to avoid confusion.
[Craig and the band are ready to play.] So if you can make it to our San Francisco show, come out tonight... oh... I guess we're already playing. Sorry. You already missed it.
[San Francisco audience:] No we didn't!
[Craig:] Oh. Never mind! [shot of San Francisco audience waving and cheering.]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Sam plays bass and jumps.] [Title on screen: This was before the show. Sam thought it had already started.]
[Sam:] Whoa, hey, thanks San Francisco. You were a great audience.
[Craig stands in front of mirror, holding mic stand. Does a kick.] Woo!! [Title on screen: Practicing my rock moves.] [sings while doing various moves:] What are you offering? Are you offering? Is it free? Hey, how's it going? What are you offering? [Takes mic off stand and throws it from one hand to the other] Are you offering? [Throws mic in the air and catches it] Is it free? [Spins and pushes up his glasses and points to himself in the mirror. Does a thrust.] I'll probably cut that out.

Recurring elements

Driftless Pony Club (DPC), tour video, beardlovers, wink

Related videos

The video in which they performed the Full House theme song is Tour de Beard 9: San Francisco.

External links

Meteor! on YouTube