Legends of Archery (Driftless Pony Club music video)

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"Legends of Archery (Driftless Pony Club music video)"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 183
2009
Original Upload date August 16, 2009
Running time 0:03:13
Wink submitted by
Great People
Guests: Nate Bartley
Sam Grant
Matt Weber
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Perfection 101"
Next →
"Self 101"

Video

Transcript

[Note: This is a music video. You should really watch it, since transcribing it cannot possibly capture everything in the video. Click above or below to watch it on YouTube.]

[The band is playing in their rehearsal space. They finish a song.]
[Sam:] Yeah!! Aw man, that was awesome!
[Craig:] That was bad.
[Matt:] Yeah. Bad bass! [looks at Sam]
[Zoom-in on Sam. He looks sad. He hangs his head. Nate gives Sam a gesture that is censored by a censor box with a drum on it. Matt points to the door. Sam shakes his head and walks out the door, still hanging his head.]
[Craig:] Alright. From the top.
[Music starts. Sam, still holding his bass, walks outside, down a path. Tracking shot follows along with him as he walks. He starts running.]
I’m a sailor on this ship,
[At home now, Sam opens his computer and does a search for "ninja." Sam watches ninja videos.]
I don’t want to go down like this.
[He shuts his computer. Zoom in on him. He ties a headband on. Puts a guitar case down on his bed. Opens it. There's a ninja sword inside.]
I’m an expert at two years old,
[Shadow of Sam practicing his ninja moves.]
You can always expect I already know.
[Sam puts a copy of Driftless Pony Club's Cholera CD on the wall.]
I’m an expert at two years old.
[Throws a throwing star weapon at it. When it penetrates the CD, blood drips down.]
You can always expect I already know.
[In a basement, Sam does moves with a broom. With a stack of wood in front of him, he karate chops the stack with his bare hand. Sitting in the bathtub, Sam checks the time. It's 12:05. He goes underwater. Comes back up. Checks time. It's 4:40. He goes underwater again.]
Da da da da da da
[Sam meditates with the sword balanced on his head.] Da da da
[He opens his eyes. The sword falls into his hands.] Da da da
[Dissolve to a Settlers of Catan board] Da da da da da da
[Matt, Nate, and Craig are playing Settlers of Catan.] Da da da
[Craig pounds his fist on the table.] Da da da
[Matt sighs and shakes his head] Da da da
[Sam, in full ninja garb, rises up from below the frame as they play Catan] Da da da
[Zoom shots of all of them, surprised by Sam. Sam attacks with his sword. Nate first. Blood on the wall. Closeup of Sam's eyes blinking with blood on his forehead. Matt looks shocked. Craig throws up. Sam chops off Matt's hands, which fly up and hit Sam's face. Sam plunges the sword into Matt. More blood on the wall. Craig screams as he's sprayed with blood. Matt screams as the sword is plunged deeper. Sam kicks Matt's body over. Sam lowers his mask. Craig, splattered in blod and holding his guitar, runs at Sam who is running at him. He blocks Sam's sword with his guitar. Is thrown backwards. Moves forward again, looking for Sam. Sam pops up behind him. They battle, guitar and sword again. Craig strums the guitar vigorously. Electricity or lightning throw Craig and Sam backwards. Sam lands in a chair. Their eyes narrow as they stare at each other. Sam lifts part of his tunic to reveal the throwing stars. He throws them at Craig. They penetrate Craig's forehead, and blood splatters. Craig falls.]
Don’t listen to me, don’t listen to me
I’m a legend of archery, don’t listen to me,
[Sam looks around at the carnage. Enters the other room.]
Don’t listen to me, don’t listen to me,
[There are three babies on Craig's bed.]
I’m a legend of archery, don't listen to me,
Da da da da da da
[Sam carries one of the babies outside. Walks outside, towards a building.]
Da da da
Da da da
[In the rehearsal space, Sam plays his bass while the babies sit at the keyboards, guitar, and drum.]
Da da da da da da
[The baby hits Craig's guitar.]
Da da da
[A baby plays the keyboard.]
Da da da
[A baby bangs on the drum]
[Dissolve to the band playing together - first Nate]
Da da da
[Then Matt]
Da da da
[Then Craig]
Da da da
[Then Sam, who has gray hair and a long gray beard]
Da da da.
[Nate gives a thumbs-up. Sam nods. Dissolves to a shot of Matt, Craig, and Nate running towards the sunset while holding their instruments in the air - Matt with a keyboard and guitar, Craig with his guitar, Nate waving drum sticks. Sam follows slowly, still wearing his bass, but using a cane to walk slowly after them. Craig stops and runs back to assist Sam, who, with Craig's arm around him, hobbles a little faster.]

Recurring elements

Driftless Pony Club (DPC), song, Settlers of Catan

External links

Legends of Archery (Driftless Pony Club music video) on YouTube