Laser Storm! and Giveaway!
|"Laser Storm! and Giveaway!"|
|Original Upload date||February 23, 2011|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Outro||video game outro|
|Wink submitted by||MonkeyManFran|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. It's me, Combustible Clone! I was just born today and I'm really excited to get out there [explodes]. [Empty chair]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. I didn't feel like doing an intro today so I had my clone do it. It's Wednesday, Wednesday, Explosion Wednesday! Did I just explode an explosion? I'm thinking about making Explosion Wednesday a thing. This is sort of a trial run. Test the waters. Put the turkey in the oven, see if it cooks. Put the cat in the microwave, see if it explodes. [picture of a cat explodes] Awww, nooooo. The cat was already dead.
So today in explosion... [laser shoots over Wheezy's head. He ducks.] Ahh. So today in explosion news... [ducks to avoid another laser] Ah god, I hate having to dodge lasers all the time, you know? Why can't lase... [ducks to avoid another laser]? Why can't lase... [another laser shoots by] Why can't lase... [ducks to avoid another one]. Why can't lasers just sit back, relax, chill out, lase... [another laser shoots by, barely missing him]. I meant laze as in lazy! Laser infestations are the worst! The worst!
Well, have I got news for you. Now you can combat lasers. [shows article.] Scientists invent world's first 'anti-laser.' [Reading from the article:] "While a conventional laser emits a constant beam of light in one direction, the anti-laser simply does the opposite."
Basically, an anti-laser absorbs the laser. It's like an alcoholic but for light.
[Talking like he's drunk] Hey, give me another one. What? I'll... I'll say when I've had enough! [Bright light shines on Wheezy's face] Ahhhhh. Must be a pale ale. Doesn't even do anything anymore.
Thankfully I have a friend at Yale. Well, associate. Extortee if you will. He gave me a prototype. Anti-laser glove. [Holds up his right hand which has anti-laser glove.]
Come on, lasers. Let's play a little game of catch. What do you got? Come on! [Laser shoots him] Augh, laser in the back of the neck! Clever girl.
Now my neck hurts. Woe is me.
[Behind Wheezy, ice falls from above. Continues to fall intermittently for next minute or so. ] Is that hail? Oh, my removable roof is removed. That takes hours to put back. Thankfully, [picture of a headline] Sonic Boom! A Gun that Can Control Weather. [Reading from article:] "the rocket ship-shaped devices use explosive acetylene to fire, shooting 200 mile per hour shockwaves into the air designed to break up hail in the clouds and turn it into rain."
Well, that's about the coolest thing I've ever heard. Except [reading again] "Meteorologist Steve Johnson has been studying hail storms for more than 40 years and he thinks the cannons are all sound and no fury. [mimicking his voice] 'As a scientist, and as far as science is concerned, they do not work.'"
I'm sick of scientists trying to infect my brain with truth rot. Smart you! I'll figure it out myself through dumb pig-headed experimentation.
Hail cannon! [shoots something into the air, hitting the eagle, and there is a large explosion/sonic boom overhead, shaking Wheezy's apartment. Some stuff falls off of Wheezy's shelf.]
Oh no! My Radiohead Hail to the Thief album's got a crack in it. Cannon don't know words got double meanings. Ah, it's not their best album anyway.
[Hail continues to fall.] And it didn't work. Wait a second. [looks out the window] It's just a clone throwing ice balls [shot of clone in the street] Hmm.... idea. Give me your best, give me your best. [Clone throws an ice ball from the street.] Got it! [Wheezy sticks out his gloved hand to catch the ice ball.] Owww!!! Ughhhhh! That's right. That's for lasers. I got confused. I got confused. [laser shoots by]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro plays over the submitted wink] [wink (ding)]
Hello once again. In case you haven't seen enough of my face today, I did another video with Morgan the Orabrush tongue and there's another contest. You gotta subscribe, favorite, and comment to win. The three coolest comments get five-year supply of Orabrushes, and number one gets Wheezy Shoes, number two gets Wheezy hoodie or sweatshirt, and number three gets a Wheezy t-shirt.
Another news story that caught my attention. Star of the show 'Firefly,' Nathan Fillion, jokingly said to the news, probably jokingly, but he said if he won 300 million dollars, he would buy the rights to the show, make it on his own, and distribute it on the internet. Probably won't happen but there's a Facebook link in the doobly-doo [title on screen: I'm not the creator of the page] supporting the idea cause I like that show. Ulterior motive here is I want Nathan Fillion to hire me when the show comes back on. Nathan? My acting abilities can be EXPLOSIVEly subtle, if they need to be. Or in your face at the appropriate times! Explosion. [explosion]
[outtake: Wheezy clone stands in the street and throws an ice ball. A car drives by.]
This is the first appearance of Combustible clone.
Laser Storm! and Giveaway! on YouTube