[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Today in America we have this holiday called Arbor Day. Plant a tree for Arbor Day.
[A clone leans into frame:] It's Labor Day.
[Craig:] Shut up, clone! Don't say another word! What did you just say to me? What? What did you say? Speak up! Speak up or I'm punching you!
[Clone:] It's Labor Day.
[Craig:] Shut up, clone!! [punches the clone]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
As I said before, today is Labor Day, the day we celebrate trying to figure out what Labor Day is. [leans towards his computer] Lookin' it up.
Apparently it's a day we commemorate trade unions and the labor movement something something. [shows Wikipedia page] How do we do that? With rest and parties.
Rest and parties? Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait... wait. Why am I doing a video? I should be drinking in bed. It's Labor Day. [grabs bottle and heads for bed] Clone, you do the video!
[Clone leans into frame:] Mrrr? [slides in/singing rug]
Hey there... clonelovers! It's finally happening! A clone gets to make a video! Yaaay!
Oh my god I'm so scared I have no idea what I'm doing.
Oh my god, what if somebody went into labor on Labor Day? It'd be something like...
[shows picture of woman who's yelling, mimics her by talking like a woman:] AAAAAAAAA! Honey, we need to get to the hospital!
[shows picture of a man:] Hehehe. Honey, appreciate the irony of the situation.
[picture of woman:] WHAAAT?!
[picture of man:] Well, hehe, you're in labor. And it's LABOR Day.
[picture of woman:] That's not irony! That's coincidence!
[picture of man:] I'm not so sure. I might go look that up.
[picture of woman:] You're always wrong!!
Hehe. What about if this happened on Memorial Day?
[picture of woman:] I don't remember anything. Who am I?
[picture of man:] Honey, you lost your memory on Memorial Day. That's ironic.
[picture of woman:] What's ironic mean?
[picture of man:] Like when you go into labor on Labor Day.
[picture of woman:] You must be really smart.
[picture of man:] I could get used to this. Hehehehe. Ah, my forearm is falling asleep.
So... now let's talk about...
I'm so scared I'm so scared.
... Comments? Jump cut.
You know what? I'm sick of the jump cut. As a clone, I'm gonna do fancy transitions. [Fancy transition] That's better. [Another fancy transition] Yep. [Another fancy transition] Okay, now it's really annoying. Back to jump cuts.
In the comments, MonkeyGoSpunky writes [shows comment] Wheezy, do you wear a microphone? Do you hide it in your beard?
Hehehehe. No! That would be ridiculous!
There's a microphone mounted on the top of this camera. [points] No, not behind you. Up on top of this camera.
Original Craig has a thought microphone and a speaker in his head. As a clone, i only have a speaker so I can project Original Craig's thoughts. Oh, I think he turned his microphone on.
[Original Craig's thought microphone:] This beer is good. So is this dream. Am I drinking while asleep? I'm amazing. Hey, is that naked beach volleyball? Hey ladies.
Okay, moving on.
I got nothing to move on to.
I guess that's it. Happy Labor Day. [waves] Until next time. Well, I'm jumping into the alligator pit after this so [waves] time to die!
[Standing by the alligator pit, the clone waves again] Bye! [jumps into the alligator pit] Aaaa! [Alligator munches. Craig wakes up and sits up in bed.] Oh god! I spilled my beer! No, I just wet the bed. Ahh, no big deal. [Lies back down]
[Viewer-submitted outro theme and wink (ding)]
Hehe... Honey, appreciate the irony of situation. [Talks like a woman:] What?!
singing rug, beardlovers, clone, Wikipedia, wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait..., comments, thought microphone, alligator pit, wink
Laboriousness on YouTube