From Wheezy Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 302
Original Upload date April 28, 2010
Running time 0:02:38
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by smagicproductions
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Youtube Corrupts Children!"
Next →



[slides in/singing rug]
Well, well, well... Look who decides to show up. You got a lotta guts coming in here. [camera zooms in] Oh, you're getting up in my face now?! Ohhh, you're forgetting one thing, buddy. [explosion] Explosion Wednesday. You've just been exploded.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
It's Wednesday [an explosion propels Craig's chair backwards] Wednesday [still going backwards] Explosion [Craig flies through air in his kitchen] Wednesday [lands in kitchen chair] Oh! Quaint little video blogging area in the kitchen. Cozy little lamp there. A little outside light on half my face to highlight my duality. [Leans towards camera, looking crazy:] Kill the innocent! Mwahaha! [Snaps out of it] What? Did you say...? Did you just say something?
It's Explosion Wednesday, the day of inexplicable explosions. [Throws a pen towards a pan that's hanging up that explodes] Got my frying pan! No more eggs for Craigs.
So I've been without the internet for about a week but I finally got a new modem and the good news is it only works next to this window with the window open. That's not good news. I didn't read the fine print on the box. [holds up box on which there's a note:] This modem is a piece of *shirt*.
They always get you with the fine print.
They're sending a guy over to fix it.
[Leans towards camera looking crazy:] Little do they know he'll never return! [laughs maniacally]
You say something again? What?
Since I have the internet, let's see what's in the news.
[shows article] Huge laser aims to create star on Earth. Scientists at a government laboratory are trying to use the world's largest laser -- it's the size of three football fields -- to set off a nuclear reaction... Ooh! [fanning himself] Sorry. Too much awesome. You're gonna have to... you're gonna have to read that yourself. Unless... unless you're blind. In that case, I have a full head of hair and I'm the most beautiful thing you have ever not seen.
Wait... Giant laser creating a star... Are they trying to take Explosion Wednesday away from me?
Psh. I've created a star before. With my fists. [Pounds fists together, which starts to create a black hole but not quite] Wait, no... That was a black hole. That's right. I gotta stop doing that.
Here's some EXPLOSIVE news. [shows article] Fighting back from the foreclosure BLAST zone. In a city filled with foreclosures and abandoned BUILDINGS, East Warren Avenue on Detroit's EAST SIDE could be called THE epi... Okay, I just exploded the word "the"? That's not very explosive news.
Hey! Yes eggs for Craigs. There's two frying pans left. See 'em? They're right there. [throws two pens at them and the pans explode] Uhhh, oopsies.
[Writing in his notebook:] Buying exploding pens. [Holds up a list entitled 'Things to stop doing.'] There.
[Viewer dances with lettuce and salad dressing. Text on screen: 'Salad party!!!!' Viewer tries to wink (behind sunglasses) but it buzzes instead of dings and there's a red X over his attempt. Viewer:] I guess it doesn't work with sunglasses on.
[Another viewer pounds his fists together, which starts to create a black hole but then doesn't. He winks (ding).]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[singing:] People walking around in my building, wondering if I'm insane.
Yep, it's inexplicable Wednesday, the day of inexplicable explosions! [throws pen. Gets up to retrieve it.] Inexplicable Wednesday, I said. It's not Inexplicable Wednesday. It's Xplicable Wednesday. But Explosion Wednesday also.

Recurring elements

singing rug, Explosion Wednesday, exploding pens, *shirt*, headlines, black hole from pounding fists, lists, Scarlett Johansson, wink, outtakes


Things to stop doing
- anything resembling "work"
- Not marrying Scarlett Johansson
- Travelling thru time ... while drunk
- Chafing
- Strafing
- Buying exploding pens


This is the first video with exploding pens.

External links

Kitchsplosion! on YouTube