Kings of Pigeon

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"Kings of Pigeon"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 357
Original Upload date July 26, 2010
Running time 0:02:47
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by langerguitarboy
Handstand Info
No. of Attempts 1
Did His Wallet Fall Out? No
No. Without the Wall: 0
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Monkeys vs. Apes"
Next →
"Life Finds a Way"



[slides in/singing rug]
Beardlovers, hey! Wait a second. I think the coffee's done. I love it when the coffee's done! Intro, bring me the coffee.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro. When beard flies in from left of frame, it is carrying the mug of coffee. When intro dissolves to Craig in front of the camera, the coffee mug stays in place, right on Craig's fingertips.]
Hmm. Thank you, intro. [Takes a sip] Mmm. Delicious. Ooh, beard hair! [Tries to get beard hair off his tongue]
I've decided to make today's video an hour long.
So my Aunt Judy, who shall remain nameless, let's call her Jody. Wait, did I already say Judy? Hmm. Too bad this is live. Otherwise I'd edit that out. She recently started watching my videos on a regular basis, and she said some of them are boring.
WHAT?! Judy, you're family! You're supposed to automatically like everything your family does, even if it sucks!
Like when my mom used to make up poems on the spot, I loved every one of them.
[Craig at window as his hypothetical mother:] Roses are red, Violets are *ding* *shirt* *ding* *ding* *ding* butts *shirt* *ding* *ding*.
That was beautiful, Mom. [looks at camera intensely]
Alright, i admit. Not all of my videos are the greatest. And I appreciate your honesty, Judy. But I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing. You can't please everybody. [Picture of a hot guy, shirtles, in a bed, under a sheet] Is that a picture of a chiseled man with his shirt off? That's weird. Right, Judy?
In St. Louis, the band Kings of Leon were booed off the stage. By booed, I mean pooped. Pooped. Yeah, that's what I mean.
[shows article] An infestation of birds in the rafters of the Verizon Amphitheatre bombarded the musicians as soon as they took the stage.
Hehehehe. [turns to alternate camera angle] Poopy. [bangs toy keyboard behind him] [turns back to main camera angle]
[plays guitar as he zooms in on photo of pigeon. [Starts singing to the tune of the Kings of Leon song "Use Somebody"]
I was flyin' around, [A picture of a pigeon flutters into frame above Craig's head.]
I was lookin' down
Below my beak.
Poopless face [Another pigeon flutters into frame.]
Just filled the spaces
I want to excrete.
You know that I could poop somebody. [A third pigeon flutters into frame above Craig's head.]
You know that I could poop somebody. [A fourth pigeon enters the frame.]
[Looks up and sees four pictures of pigeons above him:] When did you guys get here?
[song over but the pigeons remain]
Time to check on the progress of my handstand. Rocket1232123 writes [shows comment] I need to keep my hands in line with my shoulders and push them straight out. Don't look at the ground, look at the wall. Alright, let's do it. [Another pigeon picture flaps into frame.] Wait, something else is missing. Oh yeah. [shows a screen full of comments about pit stains] Thank you to the at least 17 of you who reminded me in the last video. I need to make sure I have pit stains. [Picture of Craig's handstand from last video with an arrow pointing at his pit stains.] [Craig pours water onto his shirt at armpit level] Alright.
[Standing near wall] Alright. Legs together, hands in line with my shoulders, pit stains. Here we go. [He does a handstand. Another pigeon flutters into frame.] Lookin' at the wall. [Handstand over.]
Alright, we gotta make this video an hour. We still got lots to do. Whoa! [Another pigeon flutters into frame. There are now seven pigeons onscreen. Craig is only visible in lower righthand corner of frame.] Okay, I think these pigeons are about to poop somebody. I'm gonna have to cancel.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[slides in/singing rug] Beardlovers, hey! Oh! ... That was a weird noise I just made. Oh! Oh! Oh!
[turns to alternate camera angle] Poopy. [Goes to bang toy keyboard behind him but misses the keys. Looks back at main camera angle. Turns to alternate camera angle.] Poopy. [Goes to bang toy keyboard behind him but misses the keys again.]
How was that, Judy?! Too boring?!

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, "I love it when the coffee's done!", Aunt Judy, hypothetical mother, *ding*, *shirt*, headlines, alternate camera angle, song, comments, handstand, wink, outtakes


This video contains the first reference to Aunt Judy.

External links

Kings of Pigeon on YouTube