|Original Upload date||August 16, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||Red-bearded monkey|
|No. of Attempts||2|
|Did His Wallet Fall Out?||No|
|No. Without the Wall:||0|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. News headline. [shows article] Beware of fake Facebook 'dislike' button. There's posts going around on Facebook claiming that you can install a dislike button if you follow a link. [picture of Rhett from Rhett and Link] Not that Link. Or is that Rhett? I... I get 'em confused. And no, not that Link. [picture of Link from The Legend of Zelda] I'd follow that Link anywhere. [Points to himself while music plays and the word "Nerd" appears onscreen beside him.]
[Reads from article] Instead of installing a dislike button, the application uses a person's social network to continue spreading the fake program.
That's bullcrap. If you agree with me, click this Dislike button so we can do something about it. [Points to a clickable annotation labeled Dislike]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
honker101 writes about my video on Friday [shows comment] I cried when no video yesterday, and I laughed when you fell. KARMA.
Honker is referring to when I did my handstand. [shows clip from the previous video when Craig fell while trying to do a handstand] Or tried to.
Karma can be a pesky thing. When things are too good, something bad happens. And vice versa. And vers vice-a. And ice vavers. And cree visav. Viva serce. Fun with letter orders!
That's why I like to keep things even keel, you know? If something good happens, like my video's featured on YouTube [text on screen: Good], [turns to alternate camera angle] I throw money in the garbage. [Text on screen: Bad] [Turns to main camera angle.]
Or if something bad happens [text on screen: Bad] like I stub my toe, [turns to alternate camera angle] [text on screen: Good] I get drunk! [turns to main camera angle]
[text on screen: Good] If I win big at poker, [turns to alternate camera angle] [text on screen: Bad] I eat rotten ham. [turns to main camera angle]
[text on screen: Bad] If a girl rejects me, [turns to alternate camera angle] [text on screen: Good] I get drunk! [turns to main camera angle]
[text on screen: Good] If I get a high score in Tetris, [turns to alternate camera angle] [text on screen: Bad] I realize I have no friends. [turns to main camera angle]
[text on screen: Bad] If I've been diagnosed with liver disease, [turns to alternate camera angle] I get drunk! [text on screen: Good?] [turns to main camera angle]
I try to keep others on an even keel as well.
[Craig and a clone sit facing each other.]
[Craig:] I really like how that shirt looks on your ugly body.
[Craig:] You're actually funny which is good for someone who talks way too much.
[Craig punches the clone.] Here's a fiver. [Offers a five dollar bill to the clone]
Craig with a Wig has it all figured out.
[Craig with a Wig:] I just don't do anything.
[Theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig. [Craig with a Wig turns his head and smiles] [toy piano key]
Here's some good news. Near the border of Ecuador and Peru, a new type of monkey was discovered. [Shows picture] It's a red-bearded monkey. Whaa...? Gah...! [More excited sounds] That's AWESOME! Here's the bad news. They're almost extinct. [shows headline] Grrr! [More frustrated sounds] That sucks!
First the breakup of John and Kate and now this? Sometimes it's too much.
Next thing you're gonna tell me Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston aren't together anymore. Or even Ben Affleck and J-Lo.
I like to stay on top of these things. Back to bearded monkeys.
[shows article] It's called Callicebus caquetensis, which is Latin for Wheezy Monkey... as far as I'm concerned. It's a new type of Titi monkey [text on screen: Titi Monkey]. Grow up, Judy. [shows picture] Look closely at that beautiful luscious red face forest. Ahh, too close.
They have a link to hear what it sounds like. Let's listen. [Clicks his computer.]
[Jungle sounds and then the monkey speaks:] Hey beardlovers.
Oh that's weird.
[Jungle sounds and then the monkey speaks again:] I think the coffee's done.
The coffee's done? I love it when the coffee's done! [Gets up and makes monkey noises and walks (or hops) like a monkey to the coffee and back. Turns to alternate camera angle:] Yes, I'm proud of myself, Judy. [turns to main camera angle]
[Sips coffee. Then scruffs up his beard and adopts an expression very much like the red-bearded monkey, whose picture is dissolved in over Craig. The red-bearded monkey winks (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
A lot of you may not know this but I'm in a couple web series. One of them is called Platoon of Power Squadron, and you can watch it if you follow the link in the doobly-doo. There are three approximately half-hour long episodes up. It's made by my friend Jake and he does weekly updates and in his latest update, he mentioned a contest that he entered the show in. If it wins, it gets put in front of some of the industry elites in Hollywood for a chance to be on the television. So please, follow the link in the doobly-doo to vote for the Platoon of Power Squadron. It's under T for The. T is also the letter that Titi Monkey starts with, if that helps you remember. Grow up.
So I discovered in my last video that if I'm gonna do a handstand without the wall, I should probably do it outside. And since I have air conditioning in here, and I'm super lazy, I'm not about to go outside. Against the wall it is. [Does a handstand.] Ahhh, I think my liver hurts. [Does another handstand.] Away from the wall, away from the wall, ahhh. [Handstand over] Man, handstands are hard.
singing rug, beardlovers, headlines, interactive video, comments, alternate camera angle, clone, Craig with a Wig, Aunt Judy, "I love it when the coffee's done!", wink, Platoon of Power Squadron, doobly-doo, handstand
Karma Monkey on YouTube