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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 134
Original Upload date March 10, 2009
Running time 0:01:50
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro website/youtube outro
Wink submitted by englishous
Episode chronology
← Previous
"The Point of Yes Return"
Next →
"I Want Your Chex"



[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hey there beard... uh... facelovers. It's a lot darker outside than I'm used to. I think it's because of Daylight Savings Time. My mom really likes Daylight Savings Time.
[Craig at window as his hypothetical mother turns and smiles.]
[Craig:] Wait for it.
[Craig at window as his hyptohetical mother pauses for a long time and then says:] *ding* off, you.
Doesn't matter what time it is. Still the same old fun-loving mom.
[Picture of a guy's ear with the title SIDENOTE] Sidenote!
Did you know it's actually supposed to be referred to as Daylight Saving Time? Not Daylight Savings Time. And that's good, because we know how I feel about plural. I hate plural!
I hate plural almost as much as I love wind resistance.
[picture of a segway] Segue!
Yesterday kaosboy13 commented, [talks in a funny voice:] "What, you suddenly have wind resistance this time?"
And PinkAntenna commented, [talks in a funny voice:] "Did you get a new brake system on your chair?" Why I oughta...!
Oh no, it doesn't say 'Why I oughta."
Actually, when I shaved my beard, I did lose wind resistance, and I don't have a new brake system on my chair. I borrowed a cinder block from a neighbor and I put it right here so the chair stops. Observe. [slides in/singing rug] Oh that's right, my neighbor took it back. [keeps sliding/singing rug. chair falls over]
That was mildly embarrassing. Oh, my shoe's untied. [leans down to tie it, falls out of chair]
[walks in] Had to get a coffee refill. [Can't stop or walk to chair, keeps walking] What? Again? These jokes are recycled. Oh!!
Watch how high I can jump? [Craig jumps. Closeup of his feet leaving the floor. Shot of empty room. Seven seconds later, closeup of his feet hitting the floor. He lands, with money stuck to his face.] Whew.
[begins to peel money off his face] My savings. Gets kind of sticky up there. [throws money back into air, watches it above him for a couple of seconds.] Yep, there we go.
How high can you jump? Comment it or better yet video response it.
[Now in a jacket, hat, and holding up a coffee.] Well, I'm off to work. Wink us out when I'm gone, Englishous. [sips coffee. closeup of his feet leaving floor as he jumps. shot of empty room.]
[Wink (ding) Wink (ding) Wink (ding) Raises his eyebrow (boing)]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
[shot of empty room. Can hear Craig:] There goes my wallet! [A couple of seconds later, wallet falls from above and hits the floor. Can hear Craig again.] Aaa! Hot coffee on my face!

Recurring elements

facelovers, hypothetical mother, *ding*, side note, segue, comments, singing rug, Sky Bank, wink

Related videos

Craig's reference to how he hates plural is a reference to Honey Smack.
The jokes about his lack of wind resistance due to not having a beard first appeared the previous time he shaved his beard in the videos Kokomo Krispies and Take a Look at me Now.

External links

Jumpy on YouTube