Hey beardlovers, it's 4th of July.
I don't shower on the 4th of July. I'm not going to wash away the pungent aroma of freedom.
[wheezywaiter chips and salsa intro can be seen (but not heard) under the July calendar intro. 'Wheezy Waiter Takes On July... ...5 days a week...' The Violent Femmes' song "American Music" plays over the intro.]
CNN asks "What's patriotism?"
Well, just off the top of my head, I would say it's devoted love, support [looks to his right, clearly reading] and defense of one's country semicolon national loyalty.
Are you patriotismic?
In the comments, stv slv suggested "an episode where you make a mixdown of the audio playing backward, re-record yourself trying to mimic all the backwards audio, then reverse that and have that be the main audio track."
[see outtake below for original footage of this. What plays here is the reversed version:] [Wheezy picks up a beer, pours it into his mouth/mouth pours it in the bottle] Happy Independence Day Steve. Alright. [throws a pink baseball while catching and then holding a picture of the American flag]
That's about as much as I'm gonna do. I want to actually enjoy Independence Day.
Hey, somebody left me a YouTube comment about the movie I made last night. [Reads comment:] "Find a dentist you balding jackass." Mom, I told you to comment on my blog not on YouTube.
j. tyler wants to know about the history of fireworks.
Well, Mr. J., in 12th century China an indigenous people of China, known formally as the Chinese, invented fireworks. The ancestry of these Chinese originated in different parts of China. Through the years, these inventors congregated into one part of China. And fireworks was born. In the United States, Americans celebrate their freedom and independence, as they do every day, by enjoying the imports of China.
There's your history lesson J.
Here's another history lesson. Exactly one year ago today I gave everyone pickup lines for the barbecues they go to.
[Clip from old video:] Now a few pickup lines for those of you looking to get some Independence Day action at the barbecues you're going to today. 'Out of everyone here, you're the barbecutest.' 'This barbecue's lame. Want to go back to my place and kebab up and down?' I had... I had one more. What was it? [Ian, offscreen:] Was it about sausage? [Wheezy:] Wanna barbescrew?
[Back to Wheezy today, laughing.] I'm so funny. So funny.
Well, now that you've been together for about a year, I think it's probably about time you break up. So here's some breakup lines.
Aww man, the fireworks are all gone. Just like in our relationship.
Oooh could you please pass the guacamole? And that 500 dollar necklace I bought you?
I really like the 4th of July because I can celebrate my independence. Know what I mean?
I barbequit you.
Happy 4th everybody. And Dan? I told you I'd get you to wink.
[Picture of a kid with a black eye who looks like he's winking because his eye is swollen nearly shut]
[wheezywaiter dot com outro]
[Outtakes: Wheezy bounces a pink ball while holding the American flag. Drops the flag and ball.] Aarow veeds etsnit nepah nee eepah. [Grabs beer. Pours some into his mouth. Smiles.]