[slides in/singing rug] [A clone is visible in the kitchen.]
Hey beardlovers. Hehe. Comedic intro. Funny line, funny line. Pithy comment. Pithy comment.
[Clone in kitchen:] Oh gross!
[Craig:] What's gross?
[Clone:] Stop talking about urine. That's just base comedy.
[Craig:] No. I said "pithy."
[Craig:] Oh come on, my lisp isn't that bad.
[Clone, mimicking him:] My lisp isn't that bad.
[Craig:] Pithy's an actual word. [Definition appears onscreen.] Pithy. Having substance and point.
[Clone:] Point your substance someplace else. I'm making breakfast.
[Craig:] Pith off.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Clone, where's my breakfast? I've been waiting an entire intro.
[Clone leans into frame with a plate of toast:] Here you go.
[Craig:] Oh, thank you. [Takes a bite.] Ugh, what's this? It tastes like pith.
[Clone:] You asked for toast and jam.
[Craig:] I asked for toast and jelly.
[Clone:] What's the difference?
[Craig:] What's the difference? Jelly's way better.
[Another clone leans out from the bathroom:] I enjoy jam.
[A third clone emerges from the kitchen, holding a broom:] I hate both.
[Clone who just gave him the toast:] I think they're both just fine.
[Craig:] I'd be interesting to hear your reasoning behind that. [As he says the word interesting, the word appears onscreen "interesting?"] And I'd be interested to hear my own reasoning. [Clickable annotations appear over each character in the frame. The annotations read: Both, Jam, Neither, Jelly.] Click on one of us and you'll go to another video where we explain ourselves.
And if you're on a phone, there's links in the doobly-doo. So... yeah. Either you like jelly... jam... both or neither. So click on one of us, please.
[Takes another bite.] Gross. [Takes another bite.] Mmm. Disgusting. I don't like this but I'm gonna keep eating it 'cause there's food in front of me and I cannot turn down food. [Keeps eating.]
Did you pick one yet? You better pick one. If you don't pick one... umm... [leans forward and grabs a glass that says Poison on it] I'll pour this poison on my toast. 'Kay? Pouring this poison on my toast. [Pours it.] Oh boy. You know it's poison 'cause it says poison. I'm gonna eat it and die if you don't pick one soon. You gonna you pick one? Alright.
[Takes bite.] Actually, that poison doesn't taste too bad. [Makes choking sound. Falls back in the chair, dead.]
[Clone in kitchen:] Is he dead? Then we don't have to go in the alligator pit? That's kind of bittersweet, isn't it?
interactive video, singing rug, beardlovers, clone, doobly-doo, alligator pit
Jelly Jam on YouTube