[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Today I... [sniffs air] I think the coffee's already done. But the intro's coming. What do I do? Coffee, intro, coffee, intro ... coffee intro. I love it when the coffee's done! [sped-up footage of Craig going to kitchen to get coffee and returning]
[plays Wheezy Waiter intro, except we only see right half of the Wheezy Waiter beard intro graphic (with the words "Wheezy Waiter"). The left half of the frame is Craig holding up his coffee mug to camera]
[shot of Craig smiling]
So that was weird.
mackenziethaynequinn or mackenziethanaquinn said [shows comment] "It rained fish in Australia. Why not cover that?"
[holding a guitar, singing]
They say there's plenty of fish in the sea
Well, I ain't found mine
Think I'll move to Australia
Where they fall from the sky.
It rained fish in Australia.
Fish is a metaphor for a woman.
I'm not actually gonna fall in love with a fish.
Unless it's a mermaid.
But that's technically not a fish.
And if it fell from the sky, it'd probably die
And that'd be gross.
Fish in Australia!
[song over] [Craig smiles]
Oh, you wanted me to cover it as a news story. Ha!
Yeah, it rained fish in Australia. [turns to alternate camera angle:] Ridiculous. [turns back to main camera to make a disbelieving face and then back to alternate camera angle] Double ridiculous. [turns to main camera angle to make funny face and starts to turn to alternate camera angle but turns back to main angle.] Eh, two's enough.
Apparently it's a phenomenon caused by a twister or a water spout. And I was like, water spout?! I thought that's where the coffee comes out of the coffee pot. You know, I'm a little coffee pot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my water spout. But apparently not! So I googled it.
This is a water spout. [half the frame is filled with an image of a water spout] And I was like, That's the coolest thing I've ever seen... a picture of on the internet.
I wish I could convey to you what it's like to see a picture of this on the in... That's exactly what I'm doing, actually.
Here's another water spout. [Another image fills half the frame.] Here's another one. [And another] Here's a water sport. [A photo of a boy watersurfing] Here's a water spot. [Picture of a water spot] Here's a water spank [A clone takes some water out of a cup and spanks himself] Here's a water sprite. [Picture of water sprite, the aquatic plant] Here's another kind of water sprite [Image of water sprite, the fairy kind] Ooh. Hello, picture of a water sprite. [raises eyebrows]
Quick update. If you're in the Chicago area, my band Driftless Pony Club is playing a show at The Hideout [text on screen: Next Thursday, March 11] Link in the doobly-doo. We're playing with my friends' band Shapers, who I made a live music video for. Link also in the doobly-doo. The show is 21 plus. Sorry. The door guy loves numbers that are divisible by 7.
Also, as a reminder, I end my videos with winks. If you'd like to send a wink, make it a video response. If you don't have dinging capabilities, I'll add the ding. Take it away, FableMaster10.
[Empty chair. Slowly, the winker starts to become visible. Craig is surprised. The winker materializes more fully. Craig is wide-eyed, looks to camera, and then back to winker. Winker looks left and right. Craig looks left and right. Winker leans in. Craig begins to fade away or dematerialize.]
[Craig:] What's happening? [Craig disappears]
[Winker winks (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Shot of Craig's empty room. Craig steps into frame, smiling.] Just kidding. [begins to dematerialize] What? Oh crap. This kid is good. Might as well go out in style. [Twirls as he dematerializes/fades away completely]