It's Definitely Monday
|"It's Definitely Monday"|
|Original Upload date||April 17, 2012|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||MrPersonMan123|
[kneeling on his chair as it spins and flapping his arms]
Weeeeee! I'm like a bird! A bird that's spinning in a chair!
Weeeeee! I'm a bird that's shaped like a human! Wearing human clothes!
Weeee! I'm like a humanoid bird! Weeeee!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. I'm sitting in a chair so it must be Monday.
[whispers in an exaggerated fashion] It's actually Tuesday. I was supposed to make a video on Monday but I didn't make a video on Monday because of reasons but I'm making a video now on Tuesday but let's pretend that it's Monday, okay?
[still whispering] People watching this video late, like a week from now or a year from now, have no idea that I didn't make this on Monday. So let's pretend that it's on Monday, okay?
So, to recap, I didn't make this video on Monday but we're gonna pretend it's Monday even though it's Tuesday, okay? [As he says this, a list pops up onscreen: -No video on Monday -Pretend it's Monday -It's Tuesday -Okay?]
[whispers] So I'm real... [clears throat and continues in normal volume] So I'm really excited about the baseball sports match tonight between the Chicago Whitebreads and the Baltimore Oreos. That's tonight, Monday night game. Not their Tuesday night game, which they're also playing.
I really have no idea who's gonna win tonight. [winks (ding) winks again, right eye, then left (ding ding)]
[whispers] I'm lying. About the Monday night game. I really don't know who's gonna win Tuesday night.
So, in the Monday news today... [notices the clone in the background] Clone, why are you sweeping? [laughing a little] That's a Tuesday chore. Everybody knows that. Clean the fridge.
[Clone:] It is Tuesday.
[Craig:] Clean the fridge.
[Clone:] But you said...
[Craig:] Bop! Just clean the fridge.
[Craig:] It's Monday! But clone, seriously, sweep the floor when you're done cleaning the fridge, okay?
[Clone:] But you just said...
[Craig:] Sweep the floor when you're done cleaning the fridge!
[Clone:] It's like you're talking out of both sides of your mouth.
[Craig:] No, this would be talking out of both sides of my mouth.
[One side of Craig's mouth mumbles:] Clone, sweep the floor when you're done cleaning the fridge.
[At the same time, the other side of Craig's mouth says:] Ugh. Mondays. Am I right, beardlovers?
[Clone:] That's really disturbing.
So since it's Monday [winks (ding)] April 16th and [text over his mouth: IF] you live in the United States of the USA that means you have one more day to do your taxes. I wouldn't worry about it today. Blow it off. Do it tomorrow. Heh. So.... [Dun dun dun music and camera zooms in as Craig makes an intense expression.]
[Wheezy Waiter outro]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Craig's sitting in the chair with Corporate Clone standing next to him with paperwork.]
Sorry, beardlovers, video's over. I gotta do my taxes with Corporate Clone here.
[Corporate clone:] Alright. Make any contributions to charity last year?
[Craig:] No way. [Craig's not looking at Corporate Clone. As he answers the following questions, he looks off in other directions, seems like he might not be paying attention at all.]
[Corporate clone:] Any kids?
[Craig:] I hope not.
[Corporate clone:] Doctor visits.
[Corporate clone:] Dentist visits?
[Corporate clone:] Own a car?
[Corporate clone:] Ever make love to a donkey?
[Craig:] Mm hmm.
[Corporate clone:] Killed a man?
[Corporate clone:] Are you listening to me?
[Corporate clone:] What do you call your audience?
[Corporate clone looks concerned. Glances at the camera:] You ARE listening to me?
[Craig looks at Corporate Clone:] Yeah. Why? [pauses] Alright, fine. I didn't go to the dentist. You got me.
[Corporate clone, looking disturbed:] Mm hmm.
[A clickable annotation appears onscreen: Click here for an alternate and slower reaction to tax day.]
The clickable annotation at the end of the video leads to Tax Reaction-Retaction?
It's Definitely Monday on YouTube