Igloos vs Teepees
|"Igloos vs Teepees"|
|Original Upload date||March 15, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||TheJaKFilms|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. [Another Craig walks in from kitchen and waves]
[Another Craig:] Hey beardlovers. [Craig turns and shoots the other Craig.]
Stupid clones! Always thinking they can be me. Or maybe I'm the clone. Doesn't matter....
[The other Craig, falling to ground, shot:] I'm not a clone.
... As long as there's only one of me.
[The other Craig:] I'm you from the past.
What? [Craig starts to dematerialize] Oh no! [He disappears]
[A third Craig enters from left of screen and sits] I guess I'm the clone. Doesn't matter. As long as there's only one of me.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Today is March 15th 2010. Apparently that means the sun has gone around Chuck Norris 70 times. [Annotation on screen: Oops, his "birthday" was March 10th supposedly. Pfffffft, as if there was ever a time he didn't exist.] For number 69, somebody put trick candles on his cake. Or so I'm told. There were no survivors. Fire can't exist around Chuck Norris anyway. He just makes it cry.
I realize this is gonna inspire a lot of Chuck Norris jokes in the comments. Please, try to make up your own.
Chuck Norris doesn't write comments. One roundhouse kick to the keyboard and he gets a Pulitzer Prize.
Okay that's enough.
Now it's time for a new segment on Wheezy Waiter.
[Craig and a clone wielding a gun argue silently in background as a title and voiceover announce the new segment:] Argument of the day. Guest starring Mitchell Davis and Kyle Sibert. [Mitchell and Kyle sit side by side, excited.]
Umm.... igloos versus teepees. I like igloos.
[Mitchell:] Whoa Wheezy! Okay, here's the deal. You're wrong. Teepees are better. Kyle's gonna tell you why. Go!
[Kyle:] You can have a fire inside of the teepee.
[Craig:] Oh yeah? You can have an ice party outside of an igloo. You get together all your deli meats and your other perishables and you keep 'em fresh. And then you get drunk. With cold beer.
[Mitchell:] Teepees are shaped kinda like triangles which are the coolest shape ever.
[Craig:] Umm, really? Here's an unbiased drawing. [draws] Alright, now, objectively, take a look. Which shape is better? [In the drawing, the triangle has the words "stupid," "poop," and "sux" around it. The igloo shape has the words "awesome!!" and "yeah" around it as well as six yellow stars.] I mean, come on. [Craig holds up a 20 dollar bill next to the igloo drawing.] What's that? Why's there a 20 over here? Wow. Huh. You be the judge.
[Craig:] Are you saying that igloos have less heritage than teepees? Did you know the igloo is on the coat of arms of Nunavut, a territory in Canada that I'm probably pronouncing wrong? You see, right there. [shows coat of arms]. Between the caribou and the narwhal humping that globe? Heritage.
[Kyle:] I would want to live in a teepee.
[Mitchell:] Me too. [turns to Kyle] I think that was good. [They high five.]
[Craig:] I would want to live in an igloo. And I think that was good. [Turns and puts his hand up for a high five but strokes his hair awkwardly instead when he realizes no one's there.] I'm alone.
[Mitchell:] See ya Craig.
[Craig:] See ya Mitchell and Kyle. I'm right.
[Kyle:] You're wrong.
[Craig:] I'm right.
[Kyle:] You're wrong.
Thank you for watching.
Well, now I must be getting... [Yet another Craig emerges from the kitchen]
[Yet another Craig:] Hey! What's going on? Are you a clone or am I? [points gun at Craig]
[Craig:] Uh, I'm actually you from the past.
[Yet another Craig:] Oh. Sorry. [puts gun away] My bad. [goes back into kitchen]
[Craig turns to alternate camera angle] Safety tip. At gunpoint, always say "I'm you from the past."
[Winker:] Oh *shirt*!
[Winker's friend:] What?
[Winker:] We forgot to make our Wheezy Waiter response video.
[Winker's friend:] Let's do it now!
[Winker:] Alright! [slides down railing of steps, falls, rolls down yard screaming, rolls down another longer hill. Lies motionless for a moment. Lifts head and winks (ding).]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Text on screen: Thank you: Mitchell Davis Kyle Sibert of livelavalive youtube.com/livelavalive]
[Kyle:] Igloos are in a really cold place.
[Mitchell:] I mean, a dragon's fire would melt an igloo physically. Teepee? Totally withstand it. Well, uh, [to Kyle] you wanna say bye? Let's say bye now.
[Mitchell:] See ya Wheezy.
[Kyle:] See ya.
This is the first installment of Argument of the Day.
Igloos vs Teepees on YouTube