I have it

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"I have it"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 5
2007
Original Upload date June 9, 2007
Running time 0:03:25
Wink submitted by WheezyWaiter
Great People
Camera work by Craig Benzine
Ashleigh
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
← Previous
"the duchess and the dirtwater fox"
Next →
"Slap!"

Video

Transcript

[Wheezy with no shirt on]
Good morning complete strangers. It's June 9th 2007.
Oh dear. I'm sorry. I thought my body hair was a shirt. Just a second.
[Cycles through a bunch of shirts while commenting on them]
Nope.
Gross.
Girl that's ugly!
Not a shirt.
Wore it yesterday.
Your band's name.
Don't like it.
I like it!
[punching in the air] Cha-cha-hoo-ga. [kicks in air] haa.
Now time for a shower, toothbrushing, enema, and contacts. That's right. I shower with my shirt on.
Nudity's for the devil.
[shakes head] That was refreshing. Now I need sustenance.
[Outside]
Fooooood. Fooood.
[Wheezy eating] [Wheezy back home]
Ohhhhh, my belly. My belly. My belly is full.
My belly. My belly. My belly is full.
Eat n' grow. Eat n' grow.
CNN says, Bush in awe as he discusses Iraq with Pope.
What's a Pope?
Look at the camera.
What's a Pope? And why is he so awesome?
I'm just kidding. I know who the Pope is. It was a joke.
What's a joke?
Wikipedia says, a joke is a short story or series of words spoken or communicated with the intent of causing laughter or being found humorous by the listener. A practical joke differs from a verbal one in that the humor is mainly physical rather than verbal, e.g., blocking a door while the victim is still in the room.
Sometimes, when I'm waiting tables, customers think that they can tell jokes.
To the dining room!
[Wheezy the waiter:] Hey, how you doing today? Welcome to [music].
[Customer:] Hi. I think I'll have a shimp fie lice.
[Wheezy the waiter:] Shrimp fried rice? Okay.
[Customer:] You get it? You get it?
[Wheezy the waiter:] Yeah I get it.
[Customer:] You get it? Cause that's how Asians talk.
[Wheezy the waiter:] I get it, sir.
[Customer:] I omitted the R from shrimp and I omitted the D from fried and I changed the R to an L in rice.
[Wheezy the waiter:] Yeah, I get it.
[Customer:] You get it?
[Wheezy the waiter:] No, I get it. I get it.
[Customer:] You don't get it.
[Wheezy the waiter:] I have it.
[Customer:] You don't get it.
[back to Craig]
I have it? I have it. I have it. Is that Yo La Tengo? Yeah! Thank you! In Spanish, "I have it" is "yo la tengo." That's a rock band.
[Yo La Tengo's 'You Can Have It All' plays while Craig mouthes the words, rocks back and forth in his chair, in front of the window, the waiter from the previous reenactment dances while the customer headbangs and makes a rock sign with his hand while sticking out his tongue, Craig dances down the sidewalk, Craig sings along shirtless and in glasses, Craig dances inside his apartment, dances with pants on his head, the customer and waiter from the previous reeanctment dance together spinning each other.]
Well, that took all day.
Hey that bounce thing that I was talking about yesterday happened again.
Thank you for the few comments you've sent so far. Send more. I like comments.
Also, I forgot to mention, we just saw the first edition of It's a Crazy Crazy Crazy ... There Are A Bunch of Different Types of Customers.
[wink (ding)]

Recurring elements

complete strangers, headlines, "look at the camera", Wikipedia, clone, Benzine t-shirt, music replaces the restaurant's name, It's a Crazy Crazy Crazy ... There Are A Bunch of Different Types of Customers, wink

Firsts

This video introduces the elements Benzine t-shirt, headlines, It's a Crazy Crazy Crazy ... There Are A Bunch of Different Types of Customers.

External links

I have it on YouTube