|Original Upload date||August 26, 2009|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hello. You may be wondering who I am. I'm Wheezy Waiter. And if someone is sending you this video, that means they want to apologize to you. They did something wrong. And they're sorry. Allow me to take the place of them and express their sorrow. How should I do that? How about in song? [holds up guitar]
[playing guitar and singing]
I'm sorry that I missed your birthday
Or whatever bad thing I did that hurts
It's all my fault
I'm a stupid jerk.
I would understand if you never called me your son again
Or father, sister, guidance counselor, whatever,
I bet you never thought you'd give birth to a stupid *ding*ing *ding*hole who forgets to call his own...
Okay I forget to call my mother for her birthday two days ago. [sighs]
I know... worse than Hitler, right? Mm, maybe not that bad.
I can hear my mom now.
[Craig at window as his hypothetical mother:] It's okay. As long as you sent me money.
She only says it's okay when she's angry.
But the thing is whoever sent this to you probably didn't something as bad as forget to call their mother on their birthday. So just be thankful they're not as horrible as me. Unless they did something as bad or worse. If that's possible. Then you might want to get rid of that person. I hope that helps.
Probably shouldn't have said that last part about getting rid of that person. If only this weren't live TV. It's not. I could edit it out. Too lazy.
Let's end this with a wink.
[Two winkers wink (dings}]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
I'm sorry, Mom. Or Dad. Or sibling or spouse or doctor, teacher, whatever. Can you forgive me?
How can you not forgive these puppy dog eyes? [extreme closeup of Craig's eyes with a picture of an adorable puppy superimposed over them]
I'm Sorry on YouTube