Hot Side of the Moon

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"Hot Side of the Moon"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 647
Original Upload date May 23, 2012
Running time 0:07:22
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Wink submitted by
Episode chronology
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"On the Meteor"
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Transcript (in progress)

Hey beardlovers. So today I wanted...
- What are you doing? We're supposed to be trying to sell this giant target.
- Sorry. Force of habit. Why are we selling a giant target again?
- Remember? There's a meteor plummeting to Earth and we're trying to stop it or we'll all die?
- That's still going on? Geez.
- Remember, I rallied together a bunch of clones to get in the rocket and go to the meteor to help Quiet Clone destroy the meteor because he can cause earthquakes while singing? And when they got there, they split up, and Expendable Clone came upon Revenge Clone who was leading an army of aliens or something? And then when he went to tell the others he saw that they were being kidnapped by the aliens? Meanwhile you guys discovered a giant target on top of a children's hospital and it was too heavy to move? And then I thought the only way to move it was to try to sell it, which is what we're doing right now.
- How do you know all that?
- I watched the previous videos, which I linked in the doobly-doo. Anyway, it looks like we're all done. Now all we have to do is wait.
- You use Craigslist often?
- Oh yeah. It's a seller's market out there.
- My name is Craig.
- Sexy Clone, Revenge Clone is a traitor. Everyone's been captured. Come on!
- What's the meaning of this, Revenge Clone? You're gonna kill us all!
- You are mistaken. The one you call Revenge Clone is our savior. He's given us the means to destroy the meteor that's on a collision course with us.
- Meteor? This is the meteor.
- This is our planet. That's the meteor.
- That's our planet.
- If you're aliens, why do you look like us?
- We can look like whoever we want. We can look like Sam. We can look like Matt. But we choose to look like Wheezy Waiter. Our savior.
- He's not Wheezy...
- Don't you accuse him of not being him.
- That's right. I'm THE Wheezy Waiter. With this alien technology, the meteor-repelling laser turns into a planet disintegrator. Soon I will be the one and only Wheezy Waiter. Hehehe. Which I already am. Power up the targeting system!
If you can find it in your hearts to accept me for who I am, the Wheezy Waiter, maybe I won't execute you. You never know. We'll see. You live, you learn. Isn't it ironic?
- Sir, we have a problem.
- It's like rain... What?
- The target's gone.
- I can't believe it took your four helicopters to move that thing. I hope you enjoy your new target as much as we did.
- My giant kids love to play darts. I can't wait to see the look on their giant faces.
- I'm pretty terrified right now. You guys terrified?
See? There's a market for anything. Let's get out of here. Seriously.
- Those kids are actually real?
- Aim it anywhere.
- But sir, we scoured the entire planet for the precise location for optimum destruction. We're not even sure the laser will work without the target.
- Stop them!
- Nooo!
- Whoop. Dead.
- We've got to stop that laser!
- We've gotta help Quiet Clone destroy this meteor.
- What about the aliens? This is their home.
- It can't be helped. It's us or them.
- Emotive Musical Clone, I need you to cover me. I'm going after that laser.
- Hey wait. Take my sexy shirt. You'll need it.
- Thank you.
- Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch.
- Oh, I didn't dodge that at all.
- Whoaaaa!
- It's time for you to live up to your name, Expendable Clone. Hehe.
- Nooooooooo!
- No!
- I've always enjoyed silent movies.
- That's it! That's the frequency! What's wrong? Don't stop.
- He can't do it. He can't destroy the aliens' world.
- You have to or we all die.
- Whew. I guess my work here is done. Everything's gonna be just fine. That's a giant laser beam headed straight for Earth with no power to destroy it. It's a shame my work here is already done. Nap time.
- There's nothing sexy about this situation at all.
- You can make it sexy.
- Hey. You alright, bro?
- Laser.
- I got it, dude.
- Hehehe. Punch?
No! You'll kill us all, Expendable Clone.
- I'm not Expendable. I'm Sexy. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
- Sexyyyyyy!
- Aaaaaaaaaa!
- He's converting into pure sexual energy.
- Aaaaaaaaaaa!
- What the Fermi's Paradox just happened?
- We did it.
- You saved our planets.
- I really don't know what to say at this point. I'm a failure. I think I got a rock in my shoe.
- I don't think i want this body anymore.
- Aw, I was trying to be Sam.
- Makes everything darker.
- If it wasn't for these brave men, we wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't be giving this speech right now. I probably wouldn't have had a poop ten minutes ago. We'd be under miles of molten lava. And those that survived would have to share resources. In a communal society. Ugh, what an unpleasant thought. But no, we stand here today because of these men. You hear that? That's Emotive Musical Clone, living on in our hearts. And Sexy Clone? He lives on.
On our moon.
- Hey, hun. So we moved a target that was above a children's hospital just in time before it was destroyed by a giant laser. It was amazing. But all I could think about was eating in bed with you. I love you. Yeah, I know. Here. Have a cracker.

Recurring elements

[Coming soon]

External links

Hot Side of the Moon on YouTube