|Original Upload date||May 25, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||whitsoxdude|
[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. What?!! Wheezy HD! Which stands for hot dude. [looks down] See? Chest hair.
Chest hair equals hot dude.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Oh crap! [camera zoom] I still haven't updated the titles to HD yet. [zooms out] Whew. The HD process takes a long time. My good microphone doesn't work on this camera so I have to record it on my other camera. Let's see that angle, shall we? [Cuts to other camera, which is filming his chest] Huh. I didn't think this camera was HD but apparently it is... [points to his chest hair] ... if you know what I mean. [whispers] I'm talking about the chest hair.
[back to HD camera] So can you tell the difference between this camera and my old camera? Let's do a non-chest-hair example. Here's a picture of me with this camera. [Smiles and banjo music plays.] We're gonna call that my banjo face... for no reason. No reason at all. [Banjo face again. Then he stops smiling. Then banjo face again. And stops.] And here's a picture of me with the old camera. [Image from old video with a baby's head superimposed over Craig's head] Wow. I aged a lot in the past... week or so. But the picture quality isn't as good. I wonder what punching a clone is like in HD.
[Craig and a clone sit facing each other. Clone punches Craig.]
[Clone:] Feels good.
[Craig:] Wait! You're the clone!
[The clone tee hees in delight as Craig shakes his head.]
[Craig is sleeping. Wakes up suddenly. It's dark now.] Oh. Must have passed out. Punches are really hard in HD.
I bet the coffee's done by now. [leans towards camera, goes out of focus] I love it when... I have to focus now when I lean in. Stupid narrow depth of field. [Focuses camera] There we go. I love it when the coffee's done! In HD! Blow up your YouTube screens really big.
[As he sings the theme from 2001, there is an extreme closeup of the coffee pot. He removes the coffee pot. He takes a sip from his mug. Singing:] Coffee. [He places the mug on the kitchen table. In the medium shot, the coffee mug is tiny and he looms very very large over it.] Forgot to make the coffee in HD. Kinda small.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Makes a banjo face. Makes a frowny face. Makes a banjo face. Makes a frowny face. Makes a banjo face. Makes a frowny face. Music from Psycho plays. He looks around.]
This is the first Wheezy Waiter video in HD.
This is the first appearance of banjo face.
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