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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 11
Original Upload date June 18, 2007
Running time 0:03:23
Wink submitted by WheezyWaiter
Great People
Camera work by Craig Benzine
Craig's dad
Guests: Craig's dad
Craig's mom
Craig's sister Melissa
Episode chronology
← Previous
"since you've been trained"
Next →
"Corner Store"



Good evening complete strangers. It's June 18th. I'm back home.
Where'd you go?
Well, I went to my parents' house in Wisconsin to celebrate Fathers Day.
Oh that's interesting.
Lucky for you, I documented my trip.
[Wheezy outside] Wisconsin!
Excited to get home, I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and rode the train to the bus. I waved goodbye to downtown Chicago and had some riveting conversation with my fellow passengers. Our bus made a quick stop for some sightseeing. This is Lake Wisconsin. Then I found sustenance in an authentic Wisconsin McDonalds cheeseburger. The trip was adorned with a plethora of scenery including cornfields, a house and barn, and grassfields.
[Song:] This is my home. This is my lot. This is my mom. This is my pop. Our hair recedes in the very same spot. Our hair recedes in the very same spot. Man this meal is so good looking. There ain't no thing like good home cooking. Man this meal is so good looking. It's gonna get overtookin' by me. By me. By me. By me. Home.
[Scene shot at Craig's house]
[Craig:] What are you looking at, Dad?
[Craig's Dad:] I'm looking at a squirrel making a nest. He's tearing branches off my trees.
[Craig:] How do you feel about that?
[Craig's Dad:] I don't like it. Oh... here comes a leaf.
[Voiceover:] Time to go home. Luckily there was a bus departure near my dad's work. So I got to ride with him at 4 in the morning. I heard rumors that the sun rose in the East. Now I have scientific proof. Saw Lake Wisconsin again. Invigorated by such an early rise, I decided to wash the bus' window with my head. Just when the fun really got started, this happened. So I did what anyone would do. I played Light Show in the bathroom, filmed the guy next to me who I thought was going to puke, and played with PhotoBooth on my laptop. A post-apocalyptic wasteland. A cyclops flying a spaceship. Where's my head? Oh no! Head-on collisions! Then I got bored and started PhotoBoothing the guy sleeping behind me. His face is bulgy. Now it's swirly. Eventually brightly dressed car bouncers broke up a fight involving four cars and we got through. Then I filmed planes thinking I would find something funny to say later. Fuck Rick and Andre! The time passed quickly when they played the film Reflection of a Taxi Cab. And finally I could see my apartment building. I walked to the train with the camera strapped to my crotch. Something about this reminded me of childbirth. Oh no! I thought I left Wisconsin! Nooooo! I wouldn't want to apply to this school. They speak only in sentence fragments. On the train, I wanted to film a guy eating a bagel next to me but I didn't have the balls so I filmed my reflection in the window instead. More sustenance. Then I was on my way.
[Wheezy outside:] Home. Hoooome.
[Voiceover:] I was relieved to be home but then I was confused as to how my camera arrived before me and was recording on my dining room table.
[song:] Home home home home.
So that was my trip. Thank you Dad for your camerawork at 4 o'clock this morning.
[Footage of Wheezy getting up in the morning.] Alright, that's good.
And thank you guys for watching.
[wink (ding)] [wink (ding)]

Recurring elements

complete strangers, song, Scarlett Johansson, wink


When Craig says his meal is so good-looking, there's a photo of Scarlett Johansson onscreen. She recurs often in Craig's videos. This is all the first appearance of Craig's dad, Craig's mom, and Craig's sister Melissa in his videos.

External links

Home on YouTube