|Original Upload date||June 12, 2007|
|Wink submitted by||WheezyWaiter|
two other people in the car to/at Six Flags
Oh hey! Good evening wheezies. It's July 12th.
I'm kind of excited because I'm going to a music festival tomorrow in Chicago that shall remain nameless.
Man, how am I going to clean up all this confetti. I wish I had a PITCHFORK!
It's gonna be awesome. The first band I'm gonna see is...
[Closeup of beard and British accent:] Hello.
[Beard:] I said hello.
Oh no, my beard again?
[Beard:] I'm your new, improved beard.
Oh. You're not going to talk in stupid puns, are you?
[Beard:] No, I wouldn't devalue myself with such base vernacular.
Hmm. You do have a fake British accent so I assume you're smarter.
[Beard:] Backhanded though it may be, I thank you for your compliment.
[Beard:] May I impose a bit of a caution?
[Beard:] I have seen on the telly a bit of chat about the rise in the terrorist threat against America.
Oh! Mister British Pants is getting scared!
[Beard:] Go ahead and jest, but I believe you should heed my warning.
[Beard:] Be careful at the music festival. Stick by close friends and watch out for strange packages and the like.
Okay, beard. Whatever. Why do the terrorists hate us so much anyway?
[Beard:] I don't know. I rather fancy the States.
Yeah. I fancy our States too.
[Beard:] America is great.
It is great, isn't it? I can prove it. With a theme park. Six Flags Great America. Proving the greatness of our country. Six Flags also in Mexico and Canada.
[Voiceover over footage of Wheezy's trip to the theme park:]
As Sam rode the helm to Six Flags, I thought, what are the chances of being with such great friends on such a great day? Perhaps 1 in 12? [shot of dice hanging from rearview mirror] As the rollercoasters approached, I felt giddy.
[Wheezy in the parking lot, leaping into the air:] Alright!!
[Holiday Road plays over stock photos of rollercoasters and a Jumpin' Jack Flash poster]
Then the cruel fist of Mother Nature pounded raindrops of hatred upon our joy. So we drank hot beer Sam had in his trunk. Then we had an early 90s party. First with the Gin Blossoms.
[Passengers in the car toasting and drinking while Gin Blossoms music plays:] Yeahhhh!
Then Oasis. [Passengers toast slowly and cry while Oasis music plays.]
Thank you, America. Yeah!
You see, I don't see how you can hate a country that can produce such an awesome park.
[Beard:] Here here! And Euro Disney is great too.
Oh. You're still here?
[Beard:] I'll be signing off now.
[Beard:] This has been your beard. Continuing the quest for life, liberty, and the hirsute of knowledge.
Ugh... there's another pun.
One quick thing I need to clear up.
I know yesterday I promised I would wait, Suzanne Vega, but I ate your cupcake. I was hungry!
Gotta go to a music festival tomorrow so we'll see if I have time to make a movie. If not, see you Monday.
This is the first time Wheezy addresses his audience as wheezies.
The reference to eating Suzanne Vega's cupcake is a reference to Vega Genesis.
Holiday Road! on YouTube