Heartthrob for Hire

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"Heartthrob for Hire"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 635
Original Upload date April 11, 2012
Running time 0:02:41
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Wink submitted by loshadushka1
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
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"The Comments That Cried Wolf"
Next →
"Ze Frankliners"



[rides into frame on a horse that's out of frame who we hear clip-clopping along and neighing.] Oh hey, beardlovers. I bought this miniature horse so I could ride on it into frame at the beginning of my videos. [Bends down] Move along. [Sound of horse clip-clpping away] I was worried about how I was gonna feed it, but then I found some fun stable grass in the store so everything should... [Explosion just out of frame]
Oh. I need to learn to stop adding letters to the words I read. [holds up box labeled Unstable Gas]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
So it's Wednesday, which I think is a good day to try out Explosion Wednesday, which is a thing that I wanna see if I want to make an official thing or not.
I wouldn't want to try Explosion Wednesday on a Thursday. The name doesn't really coincide. Plus I'd be watching Vampire Diaries. I mean, really. I mean really.
So in explosion news, [shows article] boy band EXPLOSION 3 point 0.
So apparently there's a new slew of boy bands on the rise. One Direction. The Wanted. Steptown. The Boysenberries. The Boytanos. Lara Flynn Boyles. Helen of Boy. Some of those might be made up.
Here's my strongly-worded and very opinionated opinion of boy bands. You see, boy bands... [He is interrupted by Sexy Clone emerging behind him.]
[Sexy clone:] Boy bands are coming back?
[Craig:] Sexy Clone. I was hoping to get this video done before you found out about this.
[Sexy clone:] Aww, I hope those there's some boy band scouts watching. I'm gonna show off my stuff.
[Craig:] You can't be in a boy band. You're way too old.
[Sexy clone:] What? You're only as old as how sexy you are, and I'm 100 percent.
[Craig:] So... you're a hundred years old?
[Sexy clone:] It's sort of an inverse correlation. Never mind. Check it out. Oh girl... [He acts like he's holding a mic] Aw girl, you know. Yeah. [turns to another camera angle and sings] Baby you're my girl. [Mimes throwing mic from one hand to the other.] Oh! [Struts] Oh girl. Female girl. [sings] I want you to be miiiiine. Not in a slave way. But in a love way. I love the way that you do your hair. I love the way that you ... girl. [talks] I can also appeal to the Latino community. Ahh chica. Yo love you, girl. I can also do later Backstreet Boys. [sings] Backstreet's back. Alright! I can also do early Backstreet Boys. [sings] Backstreet's never left. Alright! I can also do 'N Sync. [sings] 'N Sync's le... [stops singing] I'm still working on 'N Sync. Oh hey, look. A fan!
[Sexy Clone stands with his shirt open and the fan blowing on him.] Aw girl. [throws back of his shirt out behind him] Aw girl. [throws back of his shirt out behind him again. Clearly he's trying to get it to blow out behind him.] Let me get some tape. [tapes the back of his shirt on wall behind him. He leans forward to get the fan, but tape and his shirt detach from the wall as he does so. He sighs. Works on taping the shirt to the wall some more. Grabs fan and holds it in front of his bare chest with the back of his shirt taped to the wall behind him.] Oh girl. [sucks in his cheeks] Aw girl. [As he takes a step from wall, his shirt gets unstuck and falls again.] Aw...
[Wheezy Waiter outro]
[Viewer-submitted turtle wink (ding)]
[As camera cuts back to Sexy Clone making sexy faces while holding his imaginary mic, there is text onscreen. To Boy Band Scouts, If you like what you see please contact me via video response. XOXOXX (if you're a girl), Sexy Clone] [He strokes his hair.]
Aw girl. Ahh girl, you know. Yeah. [turns and leaves the frame]

Recurring elements

beardlovers, Explosion Wednesday, headlines, Sexy clone, song, wink

External links

Heartthrob for Hire on YouTube