Got Drunk

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"Got Drunk"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 566
2011
Original Upload date October 6, 2011
Running time 0:04:27
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro video game outro
Wink submitted by LostMyCape
Great People
Guests: Ty
Jake Jarvi
Ryan Wolff
Julian Smith
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Add Time to Your Life"
Next →
"Smile"

Video

Transcript

[slides in/singing rug]
[Sighs deeply] I'm hung over.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[talks in a subdued monotone:]
Don't drink, kids. Stay in school. Floss every day. No back talk.
It was my birthday yesterday so I celebrated like it was my birthday yesterday.
I don't feel like moving around a lot so I'll just use editing to convey excitement. [As he says this, the image flips, turns, there are digital zooms, the picture tilts, it turns to negative image for a moment, zags around a little.] [Text onscreen: EXCITEMENT!!!!!]
Why do I always gotta be the funny one, huh?!! Why can't I be the serious one? It's serious time! Buttoning the top button! [tries buttoning the top button] It's serious ti... Ah, my neck's too fat. [gives up trying to button top button]
No funny business! We're not gonna be doing this in the comments. [Text onscreen: :D ] Or this. [Text onscreen: lol] We're gonna be doing this!! [Text onscreen: :| ] We're gonna talk about serious news!
[shows article] Bank of America explains website outage.
Websites going down is serious business. And they're explaining it. This is the serious things that are happening in the world.
Websites being down is unproductive. [Sound of dog barking in background] Dogs barking is not productive either.
Explaining why is necessary so people know why.
Hang on a second. I'm getting the hangover stares. [Craig stares at a point off-camera. His eyes widen. They widen even more. Slow zoom in on his wide-eyed staring as music faintly plays. He snaps out of it.] Okay, moving on.
In other serious news, [shows article] Face it, tough times are ahead.
See?! You think I'm just making this up?!
I can't joke about this. Can't make a silly song.
[Craig plays guitar and sings]
Tough tough times
Times are tough [Craig dances jauntily.]
I can't afford clothes
So I'm in the buff. [Craig standing, with no clothes except for socks, with a surprised expression on his face. A black box censors him from thighs up to belly button.]
Touuuuuuuuuuuuugh.
[song over]
See, I can't do that.
You know who's serious? Ty the regular guy's serious. Here's the next episode.
[Ty stands on sidewalk and yells to camera across the street. Music plays and titles appear as he speaks:] Hi. I'm Ty. I'm just a regular guy.
[Title: Lunch]
[Ty walks on sidewalk, approaching a corner. He looks at his watch. Closeup on his watch which says 12:01 and 54 seconds]
[Ty:] Agh, it looks like it's gonna be a late lunch.
[Ty picks up a stick from sidewalk, sticks it out around the corner, drops it and continues on his way.]
[Ty sits at an otudoor cafe eating a salad. Dramatic music as he looks across the street and spies Detective Jack Travis walking down sidewalk. Detective Jack Travis stops a passerby.]
[Detective Jack Travis:] Excuse me, sir. [Holds up picture of Ty.] You seen... Have you seen this guy?
[Passerby shakes his head and keeps walking. Detective Jack Travis shrugs in exasperation.]
[Ty:] Check, please! And a water to go. [Ty wipes his mouth with the napkin, sits and waits patiently.]
[Closeup of Ty. Music plays and titles appear as he speaks:] I'm just a regular guy.
You know what else is serious? I'm in the new Julian Smith video. We filmed it about a week ago. I also had a serious conversation with him.
[Julian and Craig stand on balcony.]
[Craig:] Hey, thanks for letting me be in your video, man. It's a lot of fun.
[Julian:] Yeah, man. Thanks for being in it.
[Craig:] Yeah.
[Julian:] I think it's gonna be good.
[Craig:] Yeah. Hey, you wanna do like a quick video... uh.... little snippet for my video? It'd be like a... Hey, I was in Julian Smith's video. And then we cut to ... like... uh... you know, we do something stupid. It'll take, like, ten minutes.
[Julian:] I don't know, man. We've still got, like, three more takes to do in there. I don't really know if we have...
[Craig:] Oh...
[Julian:] ... time for something like that.
[Craig:] Yeah, we... we could do it afterwards then. That'd be cool.
[Julian laughs:] Craig... no. No.
[Craig:] What do you mean no?
[Julian:] I mean no.
[Craig:] I'm in your video.
[Julian:] I never agreed to be in your video. You wanted to be in my video.
[Craig:] You asked me to be in your video. I...
[Julian:] You wanted to be... And now you're asking me, and I'm saying I don't want to be in your video.
[Craig:] Wha.... Why did I agree to be in your stupid video?
[Julian:] Every single one of your videos is stupid, Craig. That's why I'm not gonna be in it!
[Craig:] No! Your videos SUCK!
[Julian:] No! Your videos suck!
[Craig:] I quit!
[Julian:] You are an awful content creator, Craig! Craig, come on. You're not gonna jump. Get down from there. Craig, you're an idiot. Craig! CRAIG!
[Craig yells as he jumps from balcony offscreen.]
[Julian Smith looks over the balcony. Camera does too. Craig is visible running away from the hotel.]
[Julian:] CRAIG! Craig, get back here! We are not finished!! So rude. So rude. {Walks back inside]
Ha ha ha ha ha! [stops his sarcastic laughing] Jumping from a building is serious.
People laugh when things are funny. People should do something when things are serious. How about clear their throat and lip wiggle? [He clears his throat and wiggles his lips]
To prove how serious how I am, go on, clone. Try to make me laugh.
[A clone leans into frame, laughing:] Hehehehehehe Hahahaha! Hahaha! Ahahahaha!
[Closeup of Craig wiggling his lips as laughter continues.]
[Cuts back to shot of clone leaning in and laughing next to Craig:] Ahaha! [coughs] Mm. [Backs out of frame.]
[Craig:] Serious.
Oh, stares again. [stares off. Eyes widen. Slow zoom, faint music plays.]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
[Viewer-submitted wink with four winkers winking (ding)]
In other serious news, the rock band I'm in has some shows coming up. Info in the doobly-doo. [Wiggles lips and clears throat as he points downwards towards doobly-doo.] Our next one's October 15th in Chicago. I don't wanna see any smiles at the show. Everyone's gotta be very serious. We'll probably sing songs about financial responsibility. And ethics. Also, go to wheezywaiter dot com to see the Making of 'Nice Hotel' with Julian Smith. [Banjo face] I mean, [wiggles lips and clears his throat]
[Craig:] Go on, clone, Try to make me laugh.
[Clone leans into frame and laughs:] Ahahahahaha! Ahahaha! Ahaha!
[Craig starts laughing:] No... I can't... It's really hard. Do it again.
[Clone:] Sorry... I'm sorry. Okay. [backs out of frame]
[Craig:] Go ahead.
[Clone:] Okay.

Recurring elements

singing rug, headlines, song, Ty the Regular Guy, clone, wink, Driftless Pony Club (DPC), banjo face, outtakes

Related videos

Ty the Regular Guy - Episode 22: Lunch
Making of 'Nice Hotel' with Julian Smith

External links

Got Drunk on YouTube
JULIAN SMITH - Nice Hotel
Ty the Regular Guy on Facebook