[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hey beardlovers. Come here. [standing up in middle of room] Come on. [beckons viewers] Come on. [Camera is closer to him instead of its regular position] Come on. No, not over there. That's good. Frame down a little bit. [Wheezy is kneeling next to his TV.] See this thing? What is it? I'll wait. It's okay. I'll wait. Come on, you know this. It's TV. It stands for... trop... terrib... tropical... [looks at a note] television. It's like Hulu before the internet.
Well, today in the US, the government made it just a little bit more obsolete. They got rid of the analog broadcast. So now if you don't have cable, you have to get this extra box to watch things. It's sort of like having to buy an extra adapter for your regular Nintendo games to play them on the Gamecube.
We have some good memories. Murphy Brown. Golden Girls. That's about it.
If you're from another country like London, you probably don't know those shows. For you, it'd be something like Shakespeare and Friends. Paddington Bear. Right?
I don't even turn this guy on anymore but we still have good fun. [puts a blonde wig on top of the tv. laughs.] Look at the lady! [his feet are up on the top of TV as he rocks back and forth in his chair] Working those abs. How high can I jump? [Jumps and marks the height of his jump by drawing a line on the TV]
Once in a while, I turn it on. [sits in front of a screen of static] Makes a great reading light.
Today, popular websites are commemorating the event by redesigning their logos. YouTube made the Tube portion into an old-fashioned TV graphic. Google decided to emphasize the internet by using this graphic. [shows the regular Google logo]
So that about covers it. Goodbye analog. Let's go back.... let's go back to the.... over there.
[back in his regular position] It's unlikely there was ever a tv show that ended with viewer-submitted winks. Especially from Pakistan. Rida?
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
Hey TV, *ding* you. [smiles]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
[color bars graphic and tone]
beardlovers, wink, *ding*
Goodbye Analog TV on YouTube