|Original Upload date||March 31, 2009|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||iamaseagull|
[extreme closeup of Craig's mouth very close to camera] Hey beardlovers. I got some good news.
[Spins with his arms outstretched while music plays] Haircut!
Oooh! Yes! Awesome! [prepares to slap a slap bracelet] Not yet!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Other good news. I went to the dentist after eight years. One cavity! Way better than I thought. Yes! Oh my god that's so awesome! Wooo! [prepares to slap a slap bracelet] Still gotta wait.
Other good news. AskMen dot com just published their top 29 cities for men to live in. Number one? Chicago. Let's hear it for good taste in cities! So good! Happiness happiness happiness! [banging head on door] Awesome! Awesome! Excitement. [prepares to slap a slap bracelet] Wait for it.
To decide on best cities, they used many different criteria such as diverse culture, sports teams, the population of women in the town, the price of a pint of beer. These are all great things but they didn't touch upon my favorite aspects of Chicago. Such as its fine bowling establishments. [Craig plays bowling on the Wii.] Or its diverse sword-wielding opportunities. [Another video game.] Platform jumping. [Another video game.] Large population of princess-kidnapping primates. [Donkey Kong] Conveniently located hammers. Monkey Ball Banana Blitz. [Wii screen for that game]
Last good news. I won the Ford Fiesta contest. I get to drive around a Ford Fiesta for six months with free gas and insurance. Oh god! YEAH [prepares to slap a slap bracelet] Okay. [slaps the slap bracelet on his wrist seven times with one] Woo! [and plenty of non-transcribable grunts of happiness. Slaps a slap bracelet on his neck. His leg. His torso.] Torso slap! [His finger. His giant fist. His ear.] Okay, not all of those worked. Thank you all for watching and subscribing and rating and commenting. I love you. Thank you GirlsFromTheWA for this slap bracelet. Awesome!
One more quick good news. New Zen Men podcast episode. Link in the doobly-doo. Not safe for work because of the potty words.
Hey, iamaseagull, wink time!
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
The haircut spin and music are a reference to this video: Comb on Over.
Good News on YouTube