[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[slides in/singing rug]
Hello beardlovers. [deep sigh] You ever get mad at yourself? I certainly do. I have to deal with myself every day, and I'm a tool.
[Wheezy and a clone sit side by side, drinking coffee. The clone slurps his coffee.]
[Craig:] Does anyone ever tell you you slurp loudly?
[The clone seems offended, sitting up in anger.]
[Craig:] You were going to punch me again, weren't you? Hmm. Yeah.
[Clone:] Pfft. No I wasn't.
[Craig:] Resorting to violence. I read you like a book.
[Clone:] No I wasn't.
[Craig:] You're not mysterious.
[Clone:] No I wasn't.
[Craig:] Shut up. Shut up.
[Clone:] No! Shut up. You shut up!
See what I mean?
It especially makes it hard when you try to learn something, like an instrument. When I learned guitar, the hardest part was getting over the frustration.
[Clone plucks guitar strings, obviously without a clue on how to play. He continues doing this as Craig provides a running commentary.]
[Craig:] What is that? You're never going to learn how to play this. That sounds like three lawnmowers running over horse*ding*. That chord sounds like a vampire bat flying out of my rectum. That sounds like your mom with whooping cough and PMS.
[Clone:] Dude, she's your mom too.
[Craig:] Oh. Oh yeah. [slides out of frame/singing rug]
[Craig at window as his hypothetical mother:] What the *ding* did you say about me?
[Clone:] Nothing Mom.
It's those mental barriers we have to overcome to get things done. What keeps you from getting things done? I put a poll in the sidebar of my blog at wheezywaiter dot com where you can answer that question.
[shows comment from Laura demanding a new poll] There's a new poll. Are you happy, Laura?
Speaking of getting things done, I have this friend and bandmate named Matt. He's currently writing a novel in the form of a wiki where you can monitor his progress. There's a link in the describey here if you're on YouTube and here if you're on wheezywaiter dot com. Matt also sent me this wink.
[Painting of two dinosaurs. One winks (ding). The other winks (ding).]
He's kind of disturbingly obsessed with dinosaurs.
[wheezywaiter.com or youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
[Wheezy and a clone are sitting side by side with their coffee mugs, looking disgusted and fed up with each other. The clone punches Craig.]
singing rug, beardlovers, clone, *ding*, hypothetical mother, comments, describey, wink
Get Over Yourself on YouTube