[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Wheezy starts playing 'Eternal Flame' by the Bangles on his guitar]
[Wheezy walks into the room. Stops and turns. He looks out the window, looks pensively at the camera, rubs his stubble]
Close your eyes... [He closes his eyes slowly and they ding when they close]
Give me your hand, darling [A clone punches Wheezy]
Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand? [Wheezy rolls into frame, stopping]
Do you feel the same? [Some quick jumpcuts of Wheezy at the edges of the frame, then the center, closeup and then medium shot]
Or am I only dreaming? [Wheezy as his hypothetical mother at the window turns and mouths a profanity]
Is this burning an eternal flame? [Wheezy's boss walks up to the bagels, holds a bagel in his hand, zoom in on boss, zoom in on bagel]
I believe it was meant to be, darling [A clone punches Wheezy]
I want you when you are sleeping. You belong to me. [Wheezy slaps a slap bracelet on his wrist and woos]
Do you feel the same?
Or am I only dreaming? [Wheezy sits in the captain's hat]
Is this burning an eternal flame?
Say my name, [A clone punches Wheezy]
The sunshine in the rain [Wheezy starts his car]
A whole life, so lonely, will you come and ease the pain [Wheezy driving, shot of road]
I don't want to lose this feeling [shot of road]
Ohhhhhhhh [closeup of bagel again]
[Wheezy walks up to his boss, grabs his shoulder. Wheezy looks at the bagel, his boss looks at the bagel, closeup of the bagel. They look at each other. Wheezy's boss nods. Craig nods. He punches his boss. Wheezy's boss flies backwards, Wheezy picks up the bagel, turns and leaves.]
Alright, give us a wink, neechers.
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
[outtake: Wheezy's boss lies upside down on the floor next to the knocked-over recycle bin and other stuff. Wheezy walks back into frame, looks at his boss, laughs, and puts the bagel back in the box, walks towards the camera and out of frame smiling, laughing, and shaking his head:] Oh man.
beard-growing competition, song, breakfast puns, dinging eyelids, clone, hypothetical mother, Free Bagel Friday, slap bracelet, wink, outtakes
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