Ford Fiesta Future

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"Ford Fiesta Future"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 142
Original Upload date March 22, 2009
Running time 0:02:30
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro website/youtube outro
Wink submitted by MZB1993
Great People
Camera work by Craig Benzine
Matt Weber
Guests: Matt Weber plays the man with the death threat
Episode chronology
← Previous
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"Bad News"



[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hello beardlovers. Today we're going to learn how to speak Mandarin Chinese. [A clone/other version of Craig wearing sunglasses pokes his head in from the kitchen]
[Craig with sunglasses:] What are you doing?
[Craig:] Who the *ding* are you?
[Craig with sunglasses:] I'm you. Two days from now.
[Craig:] Agh, not you again. You gonna shoot me this time?
[Future Craig:] I would but I don't have a gun. Are you gonna apply for that Ford Fiesta Movement?
[Craig:] Oh yeah, I... I was planning on it.
[Future Craig:] Well you didn't do it. And I'm here to make you. Because you were lazy, you set off a series of events that destroyed our way of life for the whole planet. I have to wear these sunglasses because in the future, the sun is so bright that my retinas would burn out if I didn't. It's all because of you.
[Craig:] Really?
[Future Craig:} Nah, I just thought they looked futuristic.
[Craig:] Oh. It actually makes you look like a pilot.
[Future Craig:] That's fine too. You better get used to it because it melded to our face after the nuclear explosion.
[Craig:] Really?
[Future Craig:] No.
[Craig:] Oh.
[Future Craig:] The future really sucks.
[Craig:] Oh yeah? How so?
[Future Craig:] Shut up. [slaps Craig]
[Craig:] Oww!
[Future Craig:] Oww! Gotta remember, I'm not that far in the future. Come with me.
[Craig and Future Craig walk down the sidewalk of an overpass over a freeway]
[Future Craig:] You're perfect for the Fiesta Movement. You got 3,000 subscribers. They actively participate. They send winks, songs, video responses, death threats.
[Craig:] They don't send death threats.
[Future Craig:] Oh, that happens tomorrow. But maybe not if you apply for the Ford Fiesta Movement.
[Craig:] Is that a threat?
[Future Craig:] Moving on. You're adventurous. You once hitchhiked to Wisconsin in the dead of winter in your underwear. [shows clip with title on it A Very Wheezy Christmas Dec. 2007]. You threw butter at a tree. [shows clip with title on it Butterball (Sept. 2007)] You even got in a car chase with yourself. [shows clip with title on it The Trophy Thief (July 2008)]
[Craig:] Yeah, I am pretty great.
[Future Craig:] Don't get cocky. [punches Craig] [They both grab their cheek] Oww! Again! Come here, look at this. [Craig and Future Craig look out over freeway] Don't you want to be a part of this?
[Craig:] What?
[Future Craig:] Driving.
[Craig:] I have a car. [shows Future Craig his car] See?
[Future Craig:] What? That Go-Kart? You're not going to have that for very long.
[Craig:] What do you mean? [The car explodes.]
[Future Craig:] Yep, that starts happening to cars built before 1992.
[Craig:] Why?
[Future Craig:] Scientists are still trying to figure that out.
[Craig:] Do I smell lighter fluid?
[Future Craig:] No.
{Craig:] Pretty sure I smell lighter fluid.
[Future Craig:] No, that's not lighter fluid. [Walks away.]
[Craig sits down in front of computer. Future Craig pops his head in from kitchen again.]
[Future Craig:] So, did I convince you?
[Craig:] Well, I don't have a car now, so...
[Future Craig:] Excellent. Hey, I gotta run. I got a thing. See ya.
[Craig, looks at camera, shrugs:] I don't have a car. Umm... you Ford people wanna help me out?
Give me a wink, Mike Williams.
[wink (ding)]
[ outro with music playing over it instead of usual outro theme]
[Craig outside, holding a script, practicing:] Starts happening to cars built before 1992. It starts happening to cars built before 19... [A man walks up.]
[Man:] Hey, aren't you the Wheezy Waiter?
[Craig:] Yeah.
[Man:] That's great! I got this death threat for you. [hands Craig a piece of paper]
[Craig:] Oh. [Man punches Craig and walks away] Owwww, ahhhh! That hurts a lot.

Recurring elements

beardlovers, *ding*, time travel, Ford Fiesta Movement, wink


This is the first video that refers to the Ford Fiesta Movement.

Related videos

Craig's question about whether Future Craig is going to shoot him this time is a reference to some past videos: The Lottery and Kelloggs Frosted Flashback.
Clips included in this video come from A Very Wheezy Christmas, Butterball, and The Trophy Thief.

External links

Ford Fiesta Future on YouTube