[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Today I wanted to talk to you about... HOLY CRAP IT'S FLAG DAY!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
It just suddenly hit me like a ton of... Flag Day reminder memos. June 14th is Flag Day here in America. Here's a picture of our flag in case you don't know. Or... have forgotten cause you're really dumb. [Picture of David Hasselhoff] No. There's red, white, and blue in that, but that's... that's just David Hasselhoff. Here's the actual flag. [Another picture of David Hasselhoff, this time in a Pepsi ad] Oops. Again, there's red, white and blue in it, but that's David Hasselhoff pretending to be a rockstar on top of a Pepsi bottle... that's exploding... in what looks like a bathroom. What are they trying to say with this ad?
Didn't I accidentally kill Hasselhoff in my whale tank a while ago? Hmm. Memories. Agh, why am I thinking about that? Talk about living in the past. Or in Hasselhoff's case, dying. [Laughs]
No, no. Here's an actual picture of the American flag. Hopefully not Hasselhoff-related? [Picture of flag] Yes! Nailed it!
It's been a while since we've modified the flag. Here's some previous versions. [Lots of posters for versions of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. And a poster from Friends] Oops, that's different versions of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I grabbed the wrong list of versions. And yes, I do consider Friends to be a version of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Also, this picture of Donald Sutherland [An image of Donald Sutherland pointing from the film] is the best picture of any human being ever. Except of course... [Five pictures of David Hasselhoff: the Pepsi ad, a shirtless one, him in the black shirt and underwear/Speedo, the shiny one, and one of him posing naked with a dog on him] these... these pictures. Which brings me back to David Hasselhoff, the subject of today's video... Wait, no, I was talking about Flag Day.
So here's my own modification of the American flag. [Craig's face appears where the stars appear on the flag] It's just an idea. You know, to get the creative juices flowing. Creative juices? Ugh. Do we create with juice? Can't we just create with something else? Creative tools. You know, just to get the creative tablesaws spinning. Let's keep those creative vacuums sucking. Let's keep those creative clones everythinging! Clones are my slaves. Also, breathing is my thing. [Breathes in and out rapidly]
Happy Flag Day to all you Americans out there. And if you're from another country, go ahead and celebrate American Flag Day. It'd be a little weird, but hey, whatever spins your tablesaw, man. Or woman. Nah, women don't use tablesaws. Great. End your video with sexism, Craig. Awesome.
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
And yes, I do consider Friends to be a version of the Vay... And yes, I do consider Friends to be a version of Invasion of the V... June 14th.. is a flag day. Is a flag day!