Fine Welcome Home

From Wheezy Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search
"Fine Welcome Home"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 267
Original Upload date March 11, 2010
Running time 0:03:55
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro Sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by erne59
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Wheezy Desert"
Next →
"Who Wants To Be A YouTubillionaire 2!?"



[Craig climbs out of his fridge, shuts fridge door and walks out of the kitchen]
Oh hey beardlovers.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
As you know, many cities are going through a budget crisis in these hard economic times. Chicago's no different. I often sit and ponder, how can I give back to my city? Sometimes, though, Chicago just shows me the way.
[turns to alternate camera angle:] Parking tickets. [Holds up parking ticket and bangs toy keyboard behind him] Thought I had Eggo waffles. Where are they?
[turns to another camera angle to his left] Oh, I left them in this camera angle. [holds up plate of Eggo waffles] And there's hardly any syrup on them. That's because I'm out. [holds up empty bottle of syrup] That's great. Who needs those extra calories? And flavor. [turns back to main camera angle]
So about a week ago, I got this parking ticket [holds it up] on my car and then I noticed a sign that said I wasn't allowed to park on that side of the street because of street cleaning even though the sign wasn't there the night before when I parked there. [closeup of Craig smiling] That's okay. The city could use some money. So then four days ago when I sat down to pay the ticket, I noticed it wasn't for parking. It was because my plates were expired. I didn't have time to renew them because I had to leave for Vegas.
[turns to alternate camera angle] And then when I got back home from Vegas, wouldn't you know it? Second ticket on my car. [holds up both tickets] [laughs] Darndest thing. It's for expired plates too. Chicago, I understand. I should've renewed my plates a while ago. I'll gladly pay double. [turns back to main camera angle]
When I found the ticket last night, my immediate reaction was, Oh yeah, I better go renew these plates because Chicago really wants me to, and I wanted to help you out. But the place was closed. So I just decided to, you know, leave the ticket there... [shot of ticket under windshield wiper] ... on the hood as a little reminder so I wouldn't have to be notified again. Trying to help you out. You know. Just leave it there.
[turns to alternate camera angle] And you know, I guess I just didn't make it prominent enough, because this morning when I got up to go renew my plates, there was another ticket. [shot of windshield with another ticket under the other windshield wiper, two tickets total] [holding all three tickets] Oh Chicago, you're really funny when you get all Hitlery sometimes. Oh, and when you turn the ticket upright like that [holds envelope flap side up] that was a really nice touch. Especially cause it rained. [shot of removing the ticket from the car's windshield and pouring out the water that had accumulated inside it] It's those little things, you know, that really make me... [closeup of Craig smiling] [turns to main camera angle]
You know I'm in a band. And sometimes a member of the band might be late for practice. I'll just give him a call, a little reminder, Hey, hey buddy, you're late for practice. What's going on? But your method might be better. Maybe I should write them a bill for 50 dollars and put it on their doorstep. And then... don't talk to them, but when they don't pay it, put another bill on their doorstep. And then another one until they show up for practice. But then even after they show up for practice they have to pay those bills or I will charge them more.
[sighs] Ahhh. It's good to be home. I think I'm gonna have some coffee now. Cause I love it when the coffee's done. [smiles. Gets up and knocks over his chair, knocks over the chair in front of the TV, knocks stuff off his bookshelf, still smiling, picks up a shoe and throws it down on the ground, smiles as he knocks some stuff off a shelf in his kitchens, opens a box of Saltine crackers, breaks a cracker, still smiling, hits a towel against the kitchen table a few times, hits some pots with it, throws it on the ground, pours coffee into a mug, smiling, sighs, walks back to the camera, picks up chair, and sits. Sips coffee and sighs] Was there something I was supposed to do? [holds up tickets] Oh yeah, renew my plates. Eh, I'll do it tomorrow.
[Winker:] Hi Wheezy Waiter. This video's from Italy and down here we love it when the espresso is done. [sips espresso. Winks (ding)]
Espresso? WHAT?
[Holds up his Places I Want to Visit list and crosses Italy off the list. See below.]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
Just so you know, my band Driftless Pony Club is playing a show tonight, March 11th, at The Hideout here in Chicago at 9 o'clock. 21 plus. [dances to DPC song "Bike" that's playing] This is our music. It's an album release for my friends' band Shapers. I made a few live music videos for them. Links in the doobly-doo.

Recurring elements

beardlovers, alternate camera angle, "I love it when the coffee's done!", wink, lists, Driftless Pony Club (DPC), doobly-doo


Places I want to visit
- The Moon
- Japan
- The Bar
- Italy [he crosses it off]
- Europe
- France
- Middle Earth
- Dagobah
- An Igloo
- Everywhere
- Your mind

Related videos

The beginning of this video is related to the end of the previous day's video, Wheezy Desert.

External links

Fine Welcome Home on YouTube