Father's Day Song

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"Father's Day Song"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 519
Original Upload date June 18, 2011
Running time 0:02:14
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro video game outro
Wink submitted by AwesomeTyme
Great People
Guests: Craig's dad
Craig's mom
Craig's sister Melissa
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Bringing Sexy Back"
Next →
"Time 101"



[Wheezy Waiter beard intro as music plays]
[slides in/singing rug] [Craig holds out his hand and his guitar travels through the air until he grabs it and starts playing, singing]
It's Father's Day, it's Father's Day,
Happy happy Father's Day.
What's the matter? Can't be bothered?
Don't you love your loving father?
[shows Wikipedia page]
United States, ZImbabwe,
All these countries [shows list of countries], Father's Day,
But if you're from Germany, Luxembourg, Uruguay,
You celebrate on a different day, [highlights dates in Wikipedia for their Father's Days]
So you don't care about your dad today,
Unless you live under his roof,
Then you best be nice until you move.
George Washington is a well-known name [shows Wikipedia page]
But he had no kids [arrow pointing to his head with words "no kids"]
So today he's lame [arrow pointing to his head with words "lame on Father's Day"]
Tarantino has a million bucks [picture of Tarantino with an arrow pointing to him with words "super rich"]
But zero kids ["zero kids" > ] so today he sucks ["sucks on Father's Day >"].
If you wanna be number one on Father's Day,
You gotta work on your pecs,
Then go out and have unprotected sex.
You also gotta be a dude,
Ladies, you can't intrude on Father's Day.
Without a sex change.
I'm still not sure if it's possible to be a biological father that way.
[Craig's mom raises her hand to and goes to say something]
Mom, shut up, it's not your day. [She drops her hand, dejected.]
[Melissa goes to say something]
Sis, shut up, it's not your day. [She stops herself.]
Me, shut up.
[Shot of Craig's dad smiling and looking around.]
If you've got two dads, I've heard them say
They might not get their tax backpay
But double dad means double party
Double rainbow all the way.
My dad looks like an older me
With a few greyer qualities. [closeup of a few grey hairs]
[Craig's dad:] What do I get for Father's Day, yo?
[Craig:] You get to be on my YouTube show?
George Clooney divorced his wife. [Picture of Clooney. "splitsville"]
But his kids don't care cause they don't have life. ["no kids"]
Jay Leno is a childless bloke [picture of Jay "zero kids"]
With the same amount of funny jokes. ["zero funny"]
If you wanna be number one on Father's Day,
And you're having trouble making relations,
Well, there's artificial insemination.
You also gotta be a dude. [Craig's dad plays the toy piano]
Ladies, you can't intrude
On Father's Day.
Unless you make breakfast.
For the father of your child
Your baby daddy.
[Craig lets go of guitar and it travels across room back to bookshelf]
[Craig's dad looks around happily]
[Craig's mom raises her hand to speak]
Mom, shut up, it's not your day. [She drops her hand and sits back, pissed.]
[Craig's mom:] F....
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro interrupts her.]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Footage onscreen of Craig singing the song with headphones in with title underneath: Go to wheezywaiter.com for the making of 'Father's Day Song'] [sings] George Washington is a well-known name, but he has no kids so today's he lame. Tarantino has a million bucks but zero kids so today he sucks. If you wanna be number one... Nope.

Recurring elements

song, singing rug, Wikipedia, wink, outtakes

External links

Father's Day Song on YouTube