Every Wheezy Waiter Video Ever Made

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"Every Wheezy Waiter Video Ever Made"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 342
2010
Original Upload date June 29, 2010
Running time 0:04:13
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by TBarrett12
Great People
Guests: Ty
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Ideas Unlimited"
Next →
"Awesome Power Line Fire"

Video

Transcript

In the YouTube moderator, the most popular suggestion was by raidonthestadiar. he said I should make a video including every inside joke ever.
[In a hot dog suit, juggling:] Boy, this is gonna be really difficult. Jump cut. [not in the hot dog suit anymore] I think I might need to pick up my spirits with a banjo face. [banjo face] [serious expression] [banjo face] That's better. Eat beard! [puts beard up to camera]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[slides in/singing rug] Hey beardlovers. So I made a list of all the inside jokes I could think of and you guys on Twitter could think of. And that includes showing lists. [Marks that off on the list] There is Eggo waffles. [Holds up waffle.]
[plays guitar and sings:]
Hey! Ho! Eggo!
Hey! Ho! Eggo!
Forming in some gridlines.
Blueberry is my favorite kind.
As far as goes breakfasttime
It's Craig's top...
[stops singing]
...Favorite breakfast to eat.
[whale sounds] Now my whale wants some breakfast. [drops bacon bits in the whale tank] Some nice delicious bacon bits. [A bright light emanates from the whale tank along with faint angelic music] You don't get any, shiny ghost of David Hasselhoff's body. You're dead, remember? [Money falls from above] Oh! Money from the Sky Bank.
[Michael Phelps does his stoner laugh:] Cha-ching! Cha-ching!
Ugh! Now Michael Phelps is gonna use it for drugs.
THEMallardtheDuck writes [shows comment] I love close up. [Craig mimics the emoticon in the comment which is this one :) ]
Me too. [zooms in camera. dun dun dun music. Breathes in and out rapidly in extreme closeup.]
Hey, let's check in on my temporary roommate Ty the Regular Guy.
[Opening credits. Music plays as Ty, wearing a blonde wig and black moustache and carrying an automatic rifle, enters Craig's apartment. As he says the following line, the words appear on the screen as the opening titles:] Hi. I'm Ty. [Pulls off wig and moustache] I'm just a regular guy. [Notices he still has the rifle raised. Lowers it.]
[Title on screen: Music]
[Ty is sitting in the kitchen with his headphones on. Craig walks by and stops.]
[Craig:] What are you listening to?
[Ty:] Rob Thomas.
[Craig:] Figured it was something bland like that.
[Ty:] Well, I'm not rocking out. I mean...
[Craig:] What do you rock out to?
[Ty:] Matchbox Twenty
[Craig sighs.]
[Ty:] Are you wearing orange? You wore orange last Tuesday.
[Craig stares at him for a second:] You're so normal! [leaves the room]
[End credits. Music plays as Ty says to the camera (and words appear on the screen as end titles):] I'm just a regular guy.
Ty... So blah.
[Craig at window as his hypothetical mother:] Better than being a *ding*in' weirdo like you.
Ahhh, I love my swearing mother.
[A picture of Craig's dad with the words "Get drunk!" under the picture accompanied by audio of Craig's dad saying:] Get drunk!
And my drinking father.
Mmm. Chips and salsa! [Goes to eat chips and salsa but the salsa spills from the chip.] Oh! I spilled again. Who am I, British Petroleum? Baah! [rim shot] Danzig!
That joke was really stupid and it made me sound like a *pants*hole. Sorry, guys. [Craig's face turns red. Really really red.] I'm embarrassed.
Oh *shirt*, it's NOT Free Bagel Friday so I can't do that joke. Dang it! [pounds fists together which starts to create a black hole] Whoa! [It stops] Okay.
Now it's time for... [A clone slides into frame]
[Clone:] All done with my chores! Time for sleep.
[Craig:] I told you, when you're done get to the alligator pit. Go on. Die now.
[Clone, standing by the alligator pit:] Sure you don't want to play a game or something?
[Craig:] I said die!
[Clone:] Alright. [jumps into alligator pit] Waaa! [Sounds of the alligator munching]
Hey, Craig with a Wig, it's your turn to do an inside joke.
[Craig with a Wig:] I've only ever laughed at one joke. I saw it in the mirror. So sad it was funny.
[Theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig! [Craig with a Wig turns and smiles] [toy piano key]
Ha! [turns to alternate camera angle] You're funny. [bangs toy keyboard behind him] You know what else is funny? [turns back to main camera angle]
SNOW! [Craig shows off his Snow sweatshirt]
You know back when I worked at [music replaces the restaurant's name], I used to do server/waiter interactions in my videos. But I'm not gonna do those now because those aren't inside jokes. Those are reenactments.
[We can hear his thoughts] Hehe. They have no idea that I'm actually just super lazy and making up excuses. Wait! Is the thought microphone on? Don't think about boobs. Don't think about boobs. Ah crap, I'm thinking about boobs.
Now I'm gonna travel through time the way I used to. Jumping. [Jumps. Shot of empty room. Lands in the street outside Craig's apartment as camera films from a window.] Oops. Jumped outside. Eh, good enough. [Jumps]
Wait, the coffee isn't done. Eh, I'll let TBarrett12 make it.
[Viewer (TBarrett12) makes the coffee. Breathes. Adds milk to the coffee, stirs, sips it, and winks (ding)]
[Craig sips coffee] Mmm. Thank you delicious. [smiles]
[Thought microphone:] Actually, this coffee is horribly disgusting but no one needs to know about that. Ah boobs.
So I'm sure I left out some jokes and I'm sure you'll let me know about them in the comments. And that's gonna annoy me! I love you.
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
Oh yeah, I may eventually list all of these jokes in the doobly-doo. Doobly-doo is also one of my inside jokes, although it's not very inside anymore.
You know, back when I worked at... [loud noise from outside] truck noiiiiiiiiiise. It always happens.
[sings] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig. [hits a note on the toy piano] Wrong note. [sings] Craig.

Recurring elements

hot dog suit, banjo face, "eat beard!", singing rug, beardlovers, lists, breakfast puns, whale tank, shiny David Hasselhoff, Sky Bank, Michael Phelps, comments, emoticon expression, breathing being his thing, Ty the Regular Guy, hypothetical mother, *ding*. "get drunk!", chips and salsa, "danzig!", *pants*, turning red from embarrassment, *shirt*, black hole from pounding fists, clone, alligator pit, Craig with a Wig, alternate camera angle, snow sweatshirt, music replaces the restaurant's name, thought microphone, time travel, wink, doobly-doo, outtakes,

Lists

Inside jokes
- Get drunk
- FBF
- Sky Bank
- whale tank
- David Hasselhoff
- Michael Phelps
- Coffee
- Piano _____
- Toy piano
- Explosions
- Craig w/a wig
- Outside joke
- Types of waiters
- Type of customers
- Eat beard
- Breathing
- Danzig
- Mom
- Dad
- There is eggo waffle
- Time travel
- Lists
- Thought microphone
- Banjo face
- Emoticon face
- Jumping
- Blushing
- Slap Bracelets
- Blackhole
- "Shirt"
- "Pants"hole
- f"ding"
- Hot Dog Suit
- Snow shirt

External links

Every Wheezy Waiter Video Ever Made on YouTube
Ty the Regular Guy on Facebook