Drumstick of Destiny

From Wheezy Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search
"Drumstick of Destiny"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 540
Original Upload date August 13, 2011
Running time 0:03:31
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Wink submitted by
Great People
Guests: Jeff Samuels
Matt Weber
Sam Grant
audiences in Minneapolis, Omaha, and Madison
Episode chronology
← Previous
"The Other Side of the Van"
Next →
"Dinosaur Rocket Syndrome"



Um, Jeff? Wouldn't it be better if we were moving forward?
[Jeff talks backwards and the van appears to be moving backwards too. Craig, Sam, and Matt look confused.]
He must have just recently started going back in time. He's getting used to it.
[Jeff talks backwards some more. Image of van moving backwards.]
Why did we let the guy going backwards in time drive?
[Sam:] I'm texting. And eating.
[Matt:] And I'm drunk!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Hey beardlovers. Today is the final day of our tour. We're heading to Madison Wisconsin. It's sort of a homecoming 'cause it's where our band formed when we went to college there. Ahh memories. [Music plays as camera zooms in on Craig who looks pensive. He sobs and words fly from his mouth: gah hhuh uh]
Anyway, last night we played...
[Matt:] Hey, remember in Madison when we ate that pizza that we got from the dumpster?
[Craig:] Yeah.
[Matt:] That was awesome! But in retrospect tragic. But still awesome!
[Craig:] Yeah. Anyway... last night we played...
[Sam:] Hey, remember when we were in Madison and I convinced you to sled all the way down Bascom Hill and you broke your leg?
[Matt:] Yeah. I had to drop out of school because I couldn't play college football anymore.
[Sam:] Yeah! You still walk with a jaunty pirate limp!
[Matt sighs]
[Sam:] That was awesome!
[Craig:] Anyway, last night we...
[Matt:] Hey, remember when we were in Madison?
[Craig looks at Matt.]
[Matt:] Yeah! [turns around and looks out windshield]
[Sam:] That was awesome!
Anyway, last night's show in Minneapolis was amazing. [Shot of crowd cheering and waving] Also had a great show the night before.
[Craig filming Sam:] Hey Sam, what's up?
[Sam:] Hey, what's up, Craig?
[Craig:] Whatcha doin'?
[Sam:] Playing a show in Omaha.
[Craig:] Oh! {pans camera to crowd in Omaha who cheer and wave. Back to Sam.] Oh, sorry to interrupt. As you were.
[Sam:] Thanks.
And lots of people brought cupcakes. Which means we can change the future. Isn't that great, Jeff?
[Jeff talks backwards.]
And we got to stay with our old friend Justin. He was our drummer on Tour de Beard. There's a playlist in the doobly-doo. Hey Matt, didn't you and he have a convo in the kitchen last night?
[Matt:] I'm pretty sure I did.
[Ripple effect to kitchen. Shot of Justin. Ripple effect back to Matt in van.]
[Matt:] Too drunk to remember.
Alright, i'm gonna finish this video later.
[Shot of Capitol building in Madison at night. Text on screen: Madison, WI. Pan to High Noon Saloon. Text on screen: High Noon Saloon. Shot of audience cheering and waving. Shot of the band playing. Closeup of Craig. Shot of Jeff. Closeup of Sam. Matt plays guitar. Notices a drumstick sticking out of his pocket.]
[Matt:] Oh yeah!
[Ripple effect to kitchen with Justin. Text on screen: the night before]
[Justin:] Hey listen, great show tonight, Matt.
[Matt:] Thank you.
[Justin:] Ssssshhhh! [Puts his finger on Matt's mouth to silence him.] Remember when I toured with you guys for Tour de Beard?
[Matt:] Yeah.
[Justin:] Well, I've been using these drum sticks that I got from a crazy old wizard.
[Matt:] Old wizard, you say?
[Justin:] Yes! And I think your drummer needs one of these!! [Holds up drum stick] Oh, but not that one. This one! [holds up another drum stick]
[Matt:] Really?
[Justin:] No! I mean, yes. Take it.
[Matt:] Okay!
[Ripple effect back to the present. Matt talks to camera:] What should I do? Hit Jeff with the stick? Hit Matt with the stick? Hit Sam with the stick? Hit Craig with the stick? [Clickable annotations appear for each of these options]
[While waiting for you to choose, Matt sniffs the drum stick and tastes it a little.]
[Dun dun dun music]
[Text on screen: CONGRATULATIONS! Since you failed to give the magical drumstick to the one who must use it to create our universe, all existence has ceased to be... or... er um... never was. Luckily, out of nowhere a crazy old wizard creates you and offers you a a 2nd try if you click here to drink the coffee.] [A clickable annotation with Sam's wizard uncle holding a cup of coffee appears on screen.]

Continue here

Recurring elements

Driftless Pony Club (DPC), tour video, beardlovers, flying-words sob, interactive video


The references to a wizard refer to Sam's Uncle Bob.

External links

Drumstick of Destiny on YouTube