Dinosaurs Comments Camping Grandma

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"Dinosaurs Comments Camping Grandma"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 654
Original Upload date June 9, 2012
Running time 0:05:01
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Wink submitted by dc8r17
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Secondhand illions"
Next →
"Real Laughter"


Transcript (in progress)

Hey beardlovers. So today I want... Oh my goodness, there's a giant velociraptor headed this way. His teeth are so big! Oh my goodness. Take a look! Take a look at it! Just take a look. Just look over there. Just look right there. Right over there. Just take a look. Take a... Take a look.
It's not... No... I made you look. You're really gullible. Wow. I literally made you look.
Listen up, beardlovers. I don't have a lot of time 'cause I have a hair appointment today in order to maintain my gorgeous beauty, and I know some of you are all, 'But you don't have any hair on your head.' Oh yes I do! I'm not completely bald yet, guys! Come on, guys, come on, guys!
So somedays when I'm making a video on the fly I'll think of something really funny to do but it ends up adding hours and hours to the video because it's something really complicated. So today, if I ever think of anything funny, I'm just gonna take my shirt off instead.
Because when you're a portly old hairy man like myself, it's always hilarious to take your shirt off.
So today I thought I'd do a comment-response video. Wait, hang on a second, I just thought of something really funny to do.
See? Hilarious.
You don't want to do it for too long. It starts to get disturbing. And/or sad. And ladies, you probably shouldn't do it at all. Unless you're on the beach in Barcelona. Apparently it's allowed there.
Okay, so I just went and got my hair cut and trimmed my beard. and it's the next day now. I started this video yesterday.
But I still don't have a lot of time because of other things. Such as stuff, whatnot, inner turmoil, and I already set up the taking-off-the-shirt joke, and I don't think I've used it enough yet.
Oh there's another excuse too that I thought of.
So let's respond to some comments.
youmonkey36 writes, 'Oh man. I totally forgot the whale tank was there. How's the whale doing anyway?'
I don't know. Hey whale, how you doing?
Oh, you got a new job as an agent? For who?
Waylon Jennings? That's cool, but he's dead. You didn't know that? Oh, you fell for a phishing scam, didn't you, whale? You can't just go signing contracts free willy nilly. There's a lot of bad people out there. Orca-strating schemes. Listen, whale, I'm sorry this turned out to be a sham... ooh. I stubbed my toe. How did I do that? I'm just sitting here.
With a little more hard work, I could do those whale puns better.
Here's another comment from theTaylorKendrick. 'Did you seriously just waste that partial cookie?'
Are you talking about when I threw that cookie? No, I just stash snacks.
Stash snacks. Stash snacks. Shnah shnah.
I have a cache of snacks that I cache. Stashed snacks cache. Stash shnah cah.
For when I do my Pilates.
Another comment from Triplen01. 'Craig, why do you wear your shoes indoors?'
What? That's silly. If I was barefoot on this filthy floor, then I'd have to wear shoes outside or the outside would get dirty.
I prefer barefoot outside. You never know when you're going to come across a bouncy castle. And they don't allow shoes in bouncy castles!
Bouncy bouncy. Ooh such a good time. Bouncy bouncy. Shoes all in a line. That's from Mighty Boosh. It's a British show. I stole that song from them.
And a comment from whatever their name is: 'Can anyone tell me if he ever did the sleep outside in a tent or igloo for a night thing that he said he would do?'
Well, I actually did do that last weekend. No igloo 'cause there was no snow. But here's some footage.
I am a genius.
- Hot dog!
Gotta play it safe.
I even tried to climb a tree that I used to climb when I was a kid. Turns out it got bigger and the branches were farther apart.
- This is as high as I can go.
- Do we have to call the Fire Department?
And I roasted marshmallows of course.
I even did a handstand against a tree slash posed for the cover of my novel I'm working on. Midriff in the Darkness: A Handstand Story.
Another comment from smellman88: 'Craig - any news on the new DPC album???'
If by DPC you mean the band I'm in, Driftless Pony Club, yes. It should be up and ready for ordering in a few weeks. That music you heard in the camping montage... that is from the new album.
One more thing I'd like to say because I'm such a wonderful grandchild I remember my grandma's birthday, happy birthday Grandma. Yesterday.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going outside.
Ah what a lovely day. Ow, rock. Ooh, broken glass. Ooh, side cramp. That's unrelated to my feet. That's just... I'm not physically fit. No bouncy castle today.
- I love it when the coffee's done.
I think this is a good time to remind everyone about the iPhone videos I made with my grandma. We went on a quest to find the board game Settlers of Catan. I recommend it.
Also the YouTuber badgeofshame interviewed me. Click the link in the doobly-doo to see an interview of us both being awkward and disturbing. You may also recognize him as Randy from the Julian Smith video. I'd rather eat Randy.
That is all for today. Lots more videos for you next week. I have no idea what they're gonna be, but I never really do. So, we'll see.
Stash stack snash. Stash snacks cache. Stash... Stash snacks catch. Stack snash cache. Nostril flare.
Always gotta play it safe. Oh!
- Uh oh
- Cut.

Recurring elements

[Coming soon]

External links

Dinosaurs Comments Camping Grandma on YouTube