[slides in/singing rug]
Ugh, blah, [barks], [makes growling/biting noise]. rrrr! Sorry. I do that sometimes. It's because of my ancestry. Cavemen. [Intercuts between Craig and a caveman, who have the same exact same expression.]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Breathing is my thing. [breathes in and out rapidly in extreme closeup]
[shows Jotofar's comment:] For the last time Wheezy, JUGGLING IS YOUR THING. NOT BREATHING. GET IT RIGHT. [Craig mimics an emoticon at the end of the comment. The emoticon is >:0 ]
Why can't juggling and breathing be my things? In fact, I can do them both at the same time. Check it out.
[Craig juggles while breathing in and out. He drops some of the things he's juggling.] Okay, maybe not.
Whatever. They're my things. Things don't have to happen at the same time.
So in the YouTube Moderator, theoutlaugh [shows comment] wanted to know Craig with a Wig's story.
Well, Mister Laugh, just between you and me and the thousands of other people watching, I was actually born with a wig. So right now I'm actually Craig with a Wig Without a Wig. Isn't that right, Craig with a Wig?
[Craig with a Wig:] Shut up.
[Theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig. [Craig with a Wig turns and smiles] [toy piano key]
That's the best I've ever heard him explain it. He actually used words this time.
Hey! It's Tuesday! Let's check in on my temporary roommate Ty the Regular Guy.
[Opening credits. Music plays as Ty, wearing a blonde wig and black moustache and carrying an automatic rifle, enters Craig's apartment. As he says the following line, the words appear on the screen as the opening titles:] Hi. I'm Ty. [Pulls off wig and moustache] I'm just a regular guy. [Notices he still has the rifle raised. Lowers it.]
[Title on screen: The Note]
[Craig walks into the kitchen:] Ty? Where you at? [looks down and picks up note off the table. Reads it aloud.] Dear Craig, I washed the dishes and dried them. Then I brushed my teeth. [Craig scratches his scalp as he reads.] Currently I'm sitting outside taking in the fresh air. [shows top of the note which has the date 6/22/10 on it] He actually put a date on this. [continues reading] Also, don't scratch your scalp. It can cause dandruff. [Stops scratching his scalp] Sincerely, Ty. [Craig puts the note down and shakes his head.] He's so normal! [Leaves the kitchen]
[End credits. Music plays as Ty says to the camera (and words appear on the screen as end titles):] I'm just a regular guy.
So based on a lot of the comments yesterday, I think it's time for.... [Many Craig voices say the name of this segment as Craig points to the words that appear one by one on screen as a title:] Wheezy Waiter is Stoopid! [audience laughter and applause]
So yesterday I said this.
[shows clip from yesterday's video:] ... who played for Derbyshire between 1950 and 1955.
And a lot of you told me I said it wrong. [Text on screen: Derbyshire] And now I know how to say it cause the internet told me. [Turns towards his computer.] Here we go. [Clicks.]
[A British voice from the computer says:] Derbyshire. [pronounces it Darbyshir]
[Craig mimics, in a British accent:] Derbyshire. [pronouncing it Darbyshir]
So I thought I'd make a song to help us learn how to say Derbyshire [pronounces it Darbyshir]
[plays guitar and sings]
If you say Derbyshire [pronounces it Derby-shire]
You won't be hired
We don't like your stupid kind.
But if you say Derbyshire [pronounces it Darbyshir]
You'll get a job for sure
At the ruins of Magpie Mine,
Which is in Derbyshire [pronounces it Darbyshir]
I'm such a dork. Oh god. I'm such a dork.
[Viewer talks really really fast:] Hi Craig. I know that breathing's your thing and I'm not allowed to breathe in a video because it's your thing so I have to wink before I run out of breath. [Winks (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Craig turns to camera:] [funny noise] Blah. [makes a barking-type noise. Then several other untranscribable noises.]
singing rug, breathing being his thing, comments, emoticon expression, Craig with a Wig, Ty the Regular Guy, Wheezy Waiter is Stupid, song, "I'm a dork.", wink, outtakes
The reference to juggling being Craig's thing is a reference to the video Juggle Boogie.
The mispronunciation of the name Derbyshire occurred in the previous day's video, Tip Your Waiters.
Derbyshire on YouTube
Ty the Regular Guy on Facebook