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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 336
Original Upload date June 22, 2010
Running time 0:02:45
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by pudding2
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Tip Your Waiters"
Next →
"Last Word Freak"



[slides in/singing rug]
Ugh, blah, [barks], [makes growling/biting noise]. rrrr! Sorry. I do that sometimes. It's because of my ancestry. Cavemen. [Intercuts between Craig and a caveman, who have the same exact same expression.]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Breathing is my thing. [breathes in and out rapidly in extreme closeup]
[shows Jotofar's comment:] For the last time Wheezy, JUGGLING IS YOUR THING. NOT BREATHING. GET IT RIGHT. [Craig mimics an emoticon at the end of the comment. The emoticon is >:0 ]
Why can't juggling and breathing be my things? In fact, I can do them both at the same time. Check it out.
[Craig juggles while breathing in and out. He drops some of the things he's juggling.] Okay, maybe not.
Whatever. They're my things. Things don't have to happen at the same time.
So in the YouTube Moderator, theoutlaugh [shows comment] wanted to know Craig with a Wig's story.
Well, Mister Laugh, just between you and me and the thousands of other people watching, I was actually born with a wig. So right now I'm actually Craig with a Wig Without a Wig. Isn't that right, Craig with a Wig?
[Craig with a Wig:] Shut up.
[Theme song:] He's Craigity Craig, Craig with a Wig. [Craig with a Wig turns and smiles] [toy piano key]
That's the best I've ever heard him explain it. He actually used words this time.
Hey! It's Tuesday! Let's check in on my temporary roommate Ty the Regular Guy.
[Opening credits. Music plays as Ty, wearing a blonde wig and black moustache and carrying an automatic rifle, enters Craig's apartment. As he says the following line, the words appear on the screen as the opening titles:] Hi. I'm Ty. [Pulls off wig and moustache] I'm just a regular guy. [Notices he still has the rifle raised. Lowers it.]
[Title on screen: The Note]
[Craig walks into the kitchen:] Ty? Where you at? [looks down and picks up note off the table. Reads it aloud.] Dear Craig, I washed the dishes and dried them. Then I brushed my teeth. [Craig scratches his scalp as he reads.] Currently I'm sitting outside taking in the fresh air. [shows top of the note which has the date 6/22/10 on it] He actually put a date on this. [continues reading] Also, don't scratch your scalp. It can cause dandruff. [Stops scratching his scalp] Sincerely, Ty. [Craig puts the note down and shakes his head.] He's so normal! [Leaves the kitchen]
[End credits. Music plays as Ty says to the camera (and words appear on the screen as end titles):] I'm just a regular guy.
So based on a lot of the comments yesterday, I think it's time for.... [Many Craig voices say the name of this segment as Craig points to the words that appear one by one on screen as a title:] Wheezy Waiter is Stoopid! [audience laughter and applause]
So yesterday I said this.
[shows clip from yesterday's video:] ... who played for Derbyshire between 1950 and 1955.
And a lot of you told me I said it wrong. [Text on screen: Derbyshire] And now I know how to say it cause the internet told me. [Turns towards his computer.] Here we go. [Clicks.]
[A British voice from the computer says:] Derbyshire. [pronounces it Darbyshir]
[Craig mimics, in a British accent:] Derbyshire. [pronouncing it Darbyshir]
So I thought I'd make a song to help us learn how to say Derbyshire [pronounces it Darbyshir]
[plays guitar and sings]
If you say Derbyshire [pronounces it Derby-shire]
You won't be hired
We don't like your stupid kind.
But if you say Derbyshire [pronounces it Darbyshir]
You'll get a job for sure
At the ruins of Magpie Mine,
Which is in Derbyshire [pronounces it Darbyshir]
Near Sheldon.
[song over]
I'm such a dork. Oh god. I'm such a dork.
[Viewer talks really really fast:] Hi Craig. I know that breathing's your thing and I'm not allowed to breathe in a video because it's your thing so I have to wink before I run out of breath. [Winks (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Craig turns to camera:] [funny noise] Blah. [makes a barking-type noise. Then several other untranscribable noises.]

Recurring elements

singing rug, breathing being his thing, comments, emoticon expression, Craig with a Wig, Ty the Regular Guy, Wheezy Waiter is Stupid, song, "I'm a dork.", wink, outtakes

Related videos

The reference to juggling being Craig's thing is a reference to the video Juggle Boogie.
The mispronunciation of the name Derbyshire occurred in the previous day's video, Tip Your Waiters.

External links

Derbyshire on YouTube
Ty the Regular Guy on Facebook