Danger Zone!

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"Danger Zone!"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 210
2009
Original Upload date October 26, 2009
Running time 0:04:59
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro website/youtube outro
Wink submitted by tasteslikepaintnwood
Great People
Guests: Matt Weber
Sam Grant
Justin
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Tour de Beard 14: The End"
Next →
"Stab Stab Stab"

Video

Transcript

[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Title on screen: Ford Fiesta Mission #6]
Hello beardlovers.
For my last Ford Fiesta mission, I'm supposed to go on tour with my band in the Fiesta and chronicle the trip. I did that in my previous 14 videos. Here's a link to the first one [an annotation that links to the first video fills the screen except for a small space in the lower right-hand corner] in a conveniently located place. [Craig leans down and over so he is visible in the corner of the screen.] You just click on it if you want to go see those videos.
Since the whole trip is already documented, I thought I would dig a little bit deeper in this video with an exclusive interview... with me.
[Craig with sunglasses and popped collar sits next to Craig.]
[Craig:] So... back from tour. Tell me about the tour. Was it one of your better tours?
[Rockstar Craig:] *ding* ROCK *ding*!!!
[Craig:] Alright. Umm....
[Rockstar Craig:] *ding*! Woo!
[Craig:] What was the favorite... what was your favorite town that you visited?
[Rockstar Craig is unimpressed with the question.]
[Craig:] Hmm. Alright. How about you play us a song then?
[Rockstar Craig:] Oh, I thought you'd never ask. [He grabs guitar.]
[Craig:] Alright, Mister Musician.
[Rockstar Craig plays guitar. Canned music plays.]
[Craig:] That's... that's a sample from Garage Band.
[Rockstar Craig stops, sighs, and plays guitar again. Organ music plays.]
[Craig:] That... that's an organ. Also from Garage Band.
[Rockstar Craig stops and starts strumming again, this time making sounds as he plays.]
[Rockstar Craig:] Beedily boo boo boo. Bew boo boo.
[Craig:] Now you're just making noises with your mouth.
[Rockstar Craig:] Bee biddy boo boo.
There you go. I hope that shed some light on the tour.
It occurs to me that there's some footage of Vegas on my birthday in the middle of the tour. Hey Matt, why don't you describe the tour up to that point?
[Matt:] We drove through the snow in the mountains. And then we drove through the desert. [Justin nods. Craig grabs a giant tall margarita glass and takes a sip.] Then we drove through Utah.
[Justin:] That's not what.. That's not the order.
Thanks to my giant birthday margarita, I found a clever way to pick up women.
[Craig:] Hey, how you doin'? [takes a sip from straw, lowers glass with straw still in his mouth, raises it again. Winks (ding)]
And there was dancing outside. While drinking. [Craig, Matt, and Justin, all holding drinks, dance to "Satisfaction" outside the entrance of a casino. Sam, holding camera, films himself.]
[Craig, singing:] I can't get no satisfaction.
And a stranger joined us. [A guy, his face blurred out, starts dancing with them.]
Matt running the wrong way down an escalator! [Matt running the wrong way down an escalator]
Synchronized conveyor belt...ing. [Justin, Craig, and Matt all dance on a conveyor belt.]
[Justin:] Now the big finish!
[They all strike a pose as they move back towards camera on the conveyor belt]
[Sam:] Wow, that's a good zoom.
For karaoke, I sang my specialty.
[Craig singing karaoke:] You never know what you can do. Until you get it up as high as you can go. Right into the danger zone.
Twice.
[Craig singing karaoke in a different place:] Metal under tension. Beggin' you to touch and go. Highway to the danger zone. Right into the danger zone. [Camera zooms in on a guy falling asleep at the bar.] Right into the danger zone. Right into the danger zone!
Well, what happens in Vegas... is broadcast all over the world.
I wanna thank Ford for allowing me to drive this car [shot of the Fiesta] all across the country. [Van drives by} Not that stupid van! That car. And for having it for the past six months. And they're not telling me I have to say that it's a good car but it is a really good car. I mean, I could say the car *ding*ing sucks *ding* *shirt* *ding* *ding* *shirt* *ding* *ding* *ding*ing lesbian *ding* *shirt* *ding* and then a turkey dinner *ding* *shirt* and *ding* candles *ding* *ding* *shirt* *ding* mullet wig *ding*. But I wouldn't say that. Whatever that was. Because it's a really good car. I actually have a mullet wig up here. [takes mullet wig down off shelf out of frame] That's... that's why I said that. [puts it on and talks in a funny voice:] Hi. And it's especially good to have a small car like this in the city. It makes it really easy to parallel park.
[Craig, driving:] Let's see. Parking. Ooh! There's a spot. [Spot between two cars. Not big enough for another car. Craig reverses in the Fiesta.] Lotsa room. Lotsa room. [Puts on emergency brake. Takes off his seatbelt.] There. Good. [Gets out of car. Walks away. A tiny Fiesta is in the spot. There are a bunch of bird noises]
A lotta birds in my neighborhood apparently today.
Thank you Ford. It's been fun.
Let's have a wink. Let's have a Halloween-themed wink.
[Jack o lantern winks (ding)]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
[Craig and Rockstar Craig sit side by side.]
[Craig:] So tell me. Did you get into any fights with your bandmates on tour?
[Rockstar Craig punches Craig.]
[Craig:] Owww! What the *ding* is the matter with you? We're doing this again.
[Rockstar Craig:] This blooper is staged.
[Craig:] No it's not! Yes it is. You're not even really there. [Rockstar Craig disappears.]

Recurring elements

Ford Fiesta Movement, beardlovers, Driftless Pony Club (DPC), clone, *ding*, wink, song, *shirt*

External links

Danger Zone! on YouTube