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WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 251
Original Upload date February 10, 2010
Running time 0:03:00
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro Sunglasses outro
Wink submitted by leprechaungiant1
Episode chronology
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"Leggo My Eggo Hole"



[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. ajbalagtas writes [shows comment] "Wheezy, shave your beard." Hehe... WHAT?!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
So yesterday when I did this [slides chair/singing rug]...
You did what?
This [slides chair/singing rug]
This. [slides chair/singing rug]
What'd you do?
This. [slides chair/singing rug]
How's that?
[slides chair/singing rug]
For old times sake?
[slides chair/singing rug]
Come again?
This. [slides chair/singing rug]
What were we talking about?
So yesterday when I did this [slides chair/singing rug], it didn't make that angelic music. And as you know, it always does. Well, I was actually hovering one inch above the rug. I'm working on my hovering technique. It's easy. It's all about moving your body with your mind. I move other stuff with my mind all the time. Check it out. [squints eyes slightly as if deep in thought. Something falls from the bookshelf behind him] See? [picks up what fell] Pretty incredibles! [holds up The Incredibles DVD] My mind also produces puns. That's an unfortunate side effect of telekinesis.
Teriboberrie writes [shows comment] "Your ears move when you smile."
You'd think so, but what actually happens is when I smile, my entire body and my entire apartment building move down. The ears stay in one place. Along with the outside. See, watch. [Craig smiles. There are big creaking sounds. When he stops smiling, creaking sounds happen again.] See? So far, there have been no consequences. I usually edit out that noise.
In unrelated news, [shows headline] "Earthquake rattles northern Illinois."
Illinois doesn't get earthquakes. [turns to alternate camera angle:] Do my smiles cause earthquakes? [smiles slightly/creaking noises. Stops smiling. Turns back to main camera angle]
As many of you know, I enjoy my coffee. Particularly when it's done being made. Yesterday it wasn't done being made, and many of you were very upset about that. I did it to teach you a lesson. Some days the coffee's not going to be done. Some days things aren't going to go your way. Some days people aren't gonna love you. Don't worry. You can always make coffee the next day. You can't really make people love you. But I'm working on it. [turns to alternate camera angle and pulls lamp down into frame so he's lit from below. Does some evil laughs. Turns back to main camera angle]
In the meantime, I feel like dancing. Because the coffee's done. I love it when the coffee's done! [DPC song plays as Craig gets up and dances. He dances for about seven seconds before entering the kitchen. Comes out of kitchen with his coffee]
That music's from my band. We're called Driftless Pony Club. We have recordings. I'll put links in the doobly-doo. But I think I'm gonna quit that band. Pretty sure my dance career's about to take off.
[Geddan wink (ding) with DPC music]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Craig dances and cracks himself up. More Craig dancing and laughing.]

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, comments, headlines, alternate camera angle, "I love it when the coffee's done!", Driftless Pony Club (DPC), doobly-doo, wink, outtakes

Related videos

Yesterday's video in which there was no singing rug is Stupid.

External links

DanceQuake on YouTube