[slides in/singing rug]
Hey there beardlovers. Happy Friday [holds up frying pan]! Get it? Cause this is a frying pan. I'm super clever.
[A clone runs through the room in the background:] Freedom!!
My clone is running away from me for no apparent reason. I'm going to chase after him in an angry manner while the intro plays. [Gets up and runs after his clone]
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[A man (Corey Vidal) stands near the edge of the roof. Craig runs onto the roof, brandishing his frying pan.]
[Craig:] Hey, have you seen a clone run through here?
[The man turns around.]
[Craig:] Also, who are you?
[Corey:] I'm a friendly traveler from Canada. I was just out and about, enjoying tossing loonies off of the roof of your Sears Tower. [Tosses a loonie off the roof and watches it fall] They're like little ants.
[Craig:] Uhhh... Actually, it's called the Willis Tower now. And this is my roof. You need to leave.
[Corey:] I'm sorry, friend. Guess there's not enough room on this roof for the two of us, eh?
[Craig:] I have no idea what you're saying.
[He runs at Corey with the frying pan. Corey extends the umbrella in his hand. They battle with their weapons and face off against each other.]
[Corey:] I'm sorry.
[Craig:] You're the one who's going be s... sorrier. [pronounces "sorrier" in a Canadian accent]
[Craig does a jumpkick. They battle more. Corey kicks Craig. Craig punches Corey. Corey falls to the roof, without his umbrella. Looks up at Craig. Craig laughs and kicks the umbrella away. Advances on Corey while twirling the frying pan. Corey kicks and hits Craig, who sputters in pain. The screen is divided into four images and Corey does a jump on the roof. In each quadrant, Corey does a jump and says a different word:] Canadian! Quadrant! Jump! Grab! [Corey lands on top of Craig, forcing him to the ground. They wrestle for the frying pan before it is knocked away. Corey sits on top of Craig, punching him repeatedly. Another Craig walks up behind him and hits him with the dinosaur toy. He rolls off of Craig. Craig stands up.]
[Craig:] Thank you, clone! You hastened my success in this fight.
[Corey:] Sorry we couldn't be friends. Au revoir, Wheezy. [He opens the umbrella, which carries up him up in the air and then down the street below.]
[Craig, to the clone:] Did you touch my t-rex? Get to the alligator pit!
[Clone walks away, disgusted:] Jerk.
[In four quadrants on the screen, Corey winks (ding) (ding) (ding) (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
Oh! That was that Canadian guy who did that quadrant video with the John Williams songs. Psh. I can do that. I already made three clones today.
[In the kitchen, a clone jumps into the alligator pit. We can hear the alligator munching.]
They're all dead now. Psh. I'm gonna go to bed. [Gets up and gets into bed]