[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. I have to tell you something. Cue sentimental music. [Sentimental music starts playing.] You see, the thing is... I've really enjoyed... Wait, no cuts! I've really enjoyed making videos for you these past months. There's just something I have to get off my chest. See, the thing is... I don't really EXPLOSION! Hehehe. EXPLOSION! Hehe. Okay, start the EXPLOSION!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
It's WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY [turns to alternate camera angle] [long pause] Was I saying something? Oh yeah, EXPLOSION! [turns back to main camera angle] Thursday... I mean, WEDNESDAY!
Explosion Wednesday's this new idea I have that I think... I'm gonna... I might make it into a weekly thing. I... I'm not sure yet. We'll see what happens.
In order for me to make Explosion Wednesday an official [makes air quotes] "thing," two entities have to tell me to do so.
Going from quotations to two is really convenient. It's like, whoop [makes quotes] bam! [holds up two fingers to represent two]. Right there.
First entity, God. Or gods. Or no god, depending on what you believe.
Oh yeah, that's right. Today I was given a special message from ah, no one too special, except for Ra, the sun god!! [shows image of Ra]
While searching for explosive news, I found this. [shows article] Coronal mass ejection headed for Earth. Earth orbiting satellites detected a C3-class SOLAR FLARE.
When those flares reach Earth, they're gonna result in spectacular auroral displays. Tonight!
[Shows a picture. Voiceover:] Whoa, that's a full auroral! All the way. [Another picture] Whoaaa! Oh my god! [Another picture] Waaaaaa! [Another picture] Woooo! What does it mean?
Coincidence? I think Ra.
By the way, if you're looking for a new desktop image besides Scarlett Johansson riding a stallion in a bikini and little pink booties, search for coronal mass ejection. [Craig looking at his monitor which has a coronal mass ejection as his background] Hello!
For no real reason, coronal mass ejection sounds disgusting in my mind. Can't we think of something else? Like sunny clumps. Gooey burny bits. Spurty yellow wads. This is not helping the problem.
Now that I have Ra the sun god's approval, I only need the approval of one more entity. An entity that's a lot harder to get a hold of. Oprah.
Now I know it's possible that Oprah actually is God, but disregard that for now.
Until I get the approval of Oprah, Explosion Wednesday is always gonna be in its testing phase. Or as I like to say, testing BLAZE. See that? Blaze rhymes with phase.
Ahh, it is hotter than Scarlett Johansson bursting out of a birthday cake wearing only a Santa Claus cake and edible body paint in here. I'm gonna turn the air on. [Turns on air conditioner. EXPLOSIONS. Craig is propelled across the room and into a handstand on top of his bed.] Oh! I think I set the temperature too high! [Wallet falls out. He falls.] Guess that takes care of my handstand for today.
[Viewer:] Okay. 1... 2... 3... 4... [Chorus of the same viewer singing the outro theme. He winks (ding)]
Besides Scarlett Johansson riding a stallion in a bikini and little pink booties, search for coronal mass ejec... Aaaaah! Hard line to say.
[Craig looking at his monitor.] Hello! I'm a dork! Look at this dorky desktop! What am I doing with my life?
singing rug, beardlovers, Explosion Wednesday, alternate camera angle, headlines, Scarlett Johansson, handstand, wallet falls out, wink, outtakes, "I'm a dork."
Coronal Mass Ejection on YouTube