Corner Store

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"Corner Store"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 12
2007
Original Upload date June 19, 2007
Running time 0:03:17
Wink submitted by WheezyWaiter
Great People
Camera work by Craig Benzine
Ryan Wolff
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Home"
Next →
"The Fountain"

Video

Transcript

Hey there complete strangers. It's June 19th.
I'm the Wheezy Waiter. I'm wearing the NASA shirt again. I don't own a lot of shirts. And there aren't a lot of space programs.
[knocks on the door and enters the room] Housekeeping.
A lot of comments have gone by unacknowledged. Let's acknowledge 'em.
From last Thursday, Gluebrass would like to see a stars segment.
Perhaps if I wasn't such an indecisive, self-indulgent Libra, I'd give a shit about you, Gluebrass.
Alright, you want a stars segment? Here's a star. And here's a segment. Eat it, Gluebrass! What's it taste like? Taste like the cosmos?
I'm sorry Gluebrass but you've just said some bad things about me in the comments.
As I said before, I'm a diplomatic and peacable Libra. Let's work this out.
Inspector Whatever would like to see a spin-off series starring my beard. Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
[closeup of Wheezy's beard:] Hey.
Hmm?
[closeup of Wheezy's beard:] Hey, over here.
What?
[closeup of Wheezy's beard:] It's your beard.
Hmm?
[closeup of Wheezy's beard:] I want my own spin-off.
Alright, let's see what you can do.
[closeup of Wheezy's beard:] I was waitin' on this guy and he said, Hey, get me another Diet Coke. And I said, yes sir, right away. And he said, On the stubble. He he he he. Get it? On the stubble? Well, you trim some you groom some. He he he.
Too many puns.
[closeup of Wheezy's beard:] Hair today gone tomorrow.
That doesn't even make any sense. Alright, you're done, beard.
Plastic Passion has an idear. She wants me to put on as many clothes as possible and walk down to the corner store to get some RC Cola.
Good idea, Plastic Passion! You got spunk! I accept your challenge except that I won't be getting RC Cola. I need some chips and salsa.
I loooove chips and salsa.
[Voiceover:] First, I get naked. Almost naked. Then I put on four pairs of underwear, three pairs of pants, an undershirt, four t-shirts, I put water in me, a sweater, a sweatshirt, winter jacket, winter hat, cowboy hat, three pairs of socks, and shoes. (Oooh that's hot.)
Hey JB, I'm going to the store. You need anything?
[JB:] Baby food.
Alright.
[Music plays as the camera follows Wheezy out of the apartment, down the stairs, down the street. He enters the store, gets chips, salsa, and baby food. Music plays again as the camera follows him on the street, back into his building, up the stairs and into his apartment.]
Hey JB, here's your baby food.
[JB mocks and imitates Wheezy:] Here's your baby food.
[Wheezy gets into bed and under the covers with all the clothes and hats still on.]
[JB:] Hmmm... vegetable beef. [JB opens the baby food and applies it to his face as music plays.]
Well, there you go, Plastic Passion. As far as your other challenge, not so sure I'm going to do that one.
One of these days I hope to finish while I can still enjoy the daylight.
This has been the Wheezy Waiter. You've been served!
Nope, still not right.
Good night. [wink {ding)]

Recurring elements

complete strangers, housekeeping, comments, talking beard, chips and salsa, JB, wink

Firsts

This is the first video with Craig's talking beard.

External links

Corner Store on YouTube