Coffee did a bad thing?
|"Coffee did a bad thing?"|
|Original Upload date||September 15, 2010|
|Intro||Wheezy beard intro|
|Wink submitted by||iammisanthropic|
[starts sliding in/slides out/singing rug] [starts sliding in/slides out/singing rug] [starts sliding in/slides out/singing rug] [starts sliding in/slides out/singing rug] Hey beardlov... [starts sliding in/slides out/singing rug] Hey beard... [slides in/singing rug] Hey beard EXPLOSION!
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[sings] It's WEDNESDAY, WEDNESDAY, EXPLOSION WEDNESDAY! I think perhaps if I make it a thing I'm not one hundred percent sure about that yet. [Explosion]
Hang on! Just wait. Hang on! Wait wait wait a second! I need to make a deposit in my Sky Bank. [Takes money out of his wallet.] Investment is the best mint. Actually, I kinda like spearmint too. It's a toss-up. Just like my money. [Throws money into air. The eagle, flying overhead, catches the money in its beak.]
Agh! The eagle's still up there! [gasps. Pulls out pen. Craig mouths something. Text on screen: exploding pen. He throws exploding pen into the sky. The eagle dodges it.] I missed! Anyway, in explosion news...
[A clone enters:] Alright, listen up, original Craig. I'm sick of you bossing us clones around. It's time for you to die! [raises knife. Explodes as exploding pen falls back into the room.]
The exploding pen got him. [looks up] Thank you, eagle. My failed attempt at trying to kill you saved my life. How can I ever repay you? Oh here, I'll give you some food. [Throws another pen into the sky. The eagle dodges it again.]
Gah! Missed again! Where was I? Let's check on some explosion news.
[Another clone enters:] Yippee! It's time for me to go do some chores! [The exploding pen, falling back into the room, explodes the clone.]
Alligator's gonna be hungry today.
Okay, explosion news! [shows article] Chandra finds evidence of stellar cannibalism. Evidence that a star has recently engulfed a companion star or a giant planet has been found. From my own estimation, it probably looked like something like this. [Explosion] That's really all I got.
[Continues reading:] Stars like the sun expand and shed their outer layers. Our sun, for example, is expected to swell so that it nearly reaches or possibly engulfs Earth.
Pssssh. Hee hee. [laughs] Oooh! Yeah, right. [The hot burning sun enters Craig's apartment, looming right over him. He leans backwards in fear.] Aaaah! Hot hot! You win! You win! Hot! You win! Okay! Okay! Okay! [The sun retreats. Craig pants.] The sun is great. [Drawing in his notebook and singing] I love the sun. I love the sun. [Holds up his drawing. It's a drawing of the sun smiling with words written underneath: Help Me!] [banjo face]
At least the sun probably burnt up that eagle. [The eagle flies overhead with the money still its mouth. It squawks.] What, are you made of adamantium?
In the comments, BoomBoomcherrycherry writes [shows comment] I cried when I saw the title.
Gladly, you're even lying!
[Continues to read comment:] Sadly I'm not even lying.
Oh. What's so sad about the title of yesterday's video? It's just called "I Love it When the Coffee's Done." [starts crying. sad music plays.] Okay, you're right. You're right. I love coffee. [crying] I love coffee. Nothing can go wrong when you drink coffee.
In other news, [shows article] BLAST coffee machines turned off.
[Reads article] Supermarket giant Sainsbury's has switched off all its coffee machines of the type that EXPLODED in one of its stores.
Whaaaat? Coffee did a bad thing? [sniffs] I suddenly forgot what I was upset about because the coffee's done. I love it when the coffee's done! [gets up and hurries to the kitchen] Yaaaaay! [grabs coffee pot and pours coffee into his mug] No need to worry. This coffee maker's made by Sainsbury's. I... I mean, it's made by Sainsbury's. Haha. No no. It's... it's made by Sainsbury's. [sigh] This coffee maker's gonna explode, isn't it? Wait for it. Oh maybe it's not gonna ex... [Coffee maker explodes. It and Craig disappear.]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
[Craig is propelled into the sky:] Whooooaaaaaaa! [He punches the eagle, who drops his money.] Well, that was convenient. [Craig lands back in his kitchen.] That's two eagle punches in two days. Nice! Oh! [His money falls from above.] Got my dollar back. You ate my dollar back, bird. That didn't make any sense. [Something else falls as well and lands on the kitchen table.] Did you just lay an egg on my kitchen table? Eagles are jerks.
[Closeup of kitchen table. A dollar and a cracked egg sit inches apart.]
This is the first appearance of the angry sun.
Coffee did a bad thing? on YouTube