Clone Kitchen (Alternate POV of Kitchen Conspiracy)
|"Clone Kitchen (Alternate POV of Kitchen Conspiracy)"|
|Original Upload date||April 20, 2011|
|Wink submitted by||—|
[slides in/singing rug] [In the background, we can see a clone doing dishes in the kitchen]
Hey beardlovers. [Camera is now in the kitchen showing the clone doing dishes. We can still hear Craig in the background, just barely, doing his video. Another clone is cleaning the oven.]
[A third clone enters:] Hey! Guys!
[Quiet Clone, who's doing the dishes, looks up and mumbles.]
[The clone who's cleaning the oven turns to look at the third clone.]
[Third clone:] Sexy clone, what are you doing?
[Sexy clone:] Cleaning the oven. [We now see that Sexy Clone's shirt is unbuttoned. Music starts as Sexy Clone rubs his hair, does his sexy biting thing, wipes his face with his shirt.] It's so hot in here.
[Third clone:] You're not wearing the clothes Original Craig is wearing.
[Sexy clone:] So?
[Third clone:] So, he makes clones every day and the clothes clone with them. He'll know you're an old clone and he'll send you to the alligator pit. Here, luckily I have extra. [he throws a couple of shirts to Sexy Clone.]
[Sexy Clone:] These are not sexy. This looks like a tablecloth.
[Third clone:] Who cares? Put it on! Now we need to make noise so he shuts the door.
[Quiet Clone murmurs as he bangs two pans together. Another clone loudly hits the side of the fridge with a towel and then wipes the fridge. Quiet Clone smiles and murmurs as he continues the pans together. Sexy Clone opens and closes the oven door many times.]
[Camera switches to the room Craig's in.]
[Craig, talking to supervising clone:] Go make sure they keep it down in there.
[Camera is back in the kitchen as Supervising clone enters.]
[Supervising clone:] Hey guys, listen, original Craig says we gotta keep it down. [Craig closes the kitchen door] Okay, guys. Let's just try and keep it down.
[Third clone walks up and punches supervising clone.]
[Supervising clone:] Ow!
[Third clone, who is clearly Revenge Clone:] Alright, we need to make a plan.
[The four clones sit at the table together. Sexy Clone is smoothing down his hair.]
[Revenge clone:] So.... do we have any ideas?
[Sexy Clone:] Okay, here's what we do. I jump in, rip my shirt off, do a spin kick, making sure I stick out my buttocks, then I go into a crane pose. Oh, who wants to oil me up first?
[Revenge Clone:] Okay... anyone else? Quiet Clone?
[Quiet Clone murmurs his plan, but it's unintelligble.]
[Revenge Clone shakes his head and points to his ear:] I can't... I...
[Quiet Clone continues explaining his plan in murmurs, making various gestures to illustrate it.]
[Revenge Clone:] Can you write it down?
[Quiet Clone grabs a piece of paper and writes. Hands piece of paper to Revenge Clone.]
[Revenge Clone:] This is too small to read. Your handwriting is even quiet. [Quiet Clone shrugs. Revenge Clone turns to supervising clone.] What do you got?
[Supervising clone:] How about I blindly go in there with a hammer? [holds up hammer]
[Revenge clone:] I like it!
[Sexy clone:] I'll take my shirt off.
[Revenge clone:] I don't like that. I'll see if the coast is clear. [Goes to door and slowly opens it, peeks out kitchen door. The camera adopts his point of view for a minute, shooting the back of Craig's head as he speaks to camera.]
[Craig:] ...auroras on Saturn.
[Revenge clone pulls the door closed, touches the back of his head:] We're balding so bad. Do it, expendable clone! [Camera is back in the room with Craig, who's leaning down to open the whale tank cover.] [Craig:] Open up the cover. [sound of cover being opened] There you go. [shakes bacon bits into the tank as the whale noises continue]
[Expendable clone opens the kitchen door.] Die Craig! Ha ha! [throws exploding pen at Craig. Then lunges at him with a hammer but falls in whale tank]
[Revenge clone, in the kitchen:] Ah crap, the whale tank's open. Let's get outta here! [Runs towards door.]
[Craig:] What was that about?
[Quiet Clone, in the kitchen, also runs for the door.]
[Camera is in the laundry room in the basement.]
[Revenge clone:] Alright guys, we'll get him next time. I will have my revenge!
[Quiet Clone mumbles:] Okay. [shrugs]
[Sexy Clone enters, shirtless, as sexy music starts up again:] Whassup? What's up, guys? Great job up there, guys. [stands, hip cocked, shirtless, hand on hip. Revenge Clone and Quiet Clone look uncomfortable. He rubs his shirtless stomach a little.]
This is an alternate POV video of Kitchen Conspiracy.
This video was uploaded to YouTube on April 21st but it was available on wheezywaiter.com and blip.tv on April 20th, so the date here is April 20th.