[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
[Title on screen: Ford Fiesta Mission #1 as Craig walks up to his Fiesta, stands next to it, looking around. Looks like he's in the middle of nowhere.]
Ah, the calm soothing sounds of nature. When I was young, I grew up in a tiny town in Wisconsin. It was peaceful. It was friendly. It was boring. I dreamed of something more - the lights, the sounds of the big city. I knew I wasn't meant for the small town so I moved to Chicago.
This morning when I woke up in my Chicago apartment, I found a note on my table. It said, Where are you?
Did I write this? Did I know where I was? I guess I didn't. I got used to the big city. I became jaded. I said to myself, 'I became jaded. I mean, I am jaded. I gotta stop using past tense in the present.' Then I said, 'What has happened to me?'
I hopped into my Fiesta and went downtown. But first I posed in a sexy manner next to it. I needed to embed myself into the hustle and bustle, the excitement of the city. It felt good for a while even though my choice of music made me feel like I was in a car commercial. My memories of what made the city so special were flooding back to me. But then... [Craig in time-traveling glasses walks up to Craig.]
[Craig:] Me from the future again?
[Future Craig:] What's up?
Sometime in the future, I find a time machine, and I often come back and try to alter the course of my life. And apparently in the future.... [Future Craig punches Craig] I'm a jerk.
[Craig:] Ow! What are you doing here this time?
[Future Craig:] Get out of here. You hate the city.
[Craig:] But I like the city.
[Future Craig:] Look closely.
I took a look around and something happened. I felt overwhelmed. Sounds of cars. People. Babies. Buildings. Buildings? I had to get out of there.
[Future Craig:] I have a gun. Get out or I'll shoot.
[Craig:] But I already want to leave.
[Future Craig:] You better run.
[Craig:] Okay. [takes off running]
[A country song Craig sings plays over footage of highway, scenery, Craig driving:] This here's a song about travel. Travelin' outside of town. Gonna head on out to the country. Where trees and more trees can be found. I'm heading out west today, Across a very tiny portion of this here USA, Yeehaw!
And now I'm here. I guess I'll sit back and take it all in. Ahh. [looks around for three seconds] Well, I'm bored. Let's go see who's on Facebook.
As I drove back to my apartment in my Ford Fiesta, I felt renewed. I guess you have to take a close look at yourself once in a while, remember where you are and where you came from. I wondered if that was my future self who wrote that note and this is what he wanted me to discover.
[Future Craig pops up from back seat:] Actually, I was just *ding*ing with you. Hehe. You're a good sport. [Takes off his glasses and winks (ding)]
[wheezywaiter.com youtube.com/wheezywaiter outro]
Ford Fiesta Movement, time travel, song, *ding*, wink
City Limits (Fiesta Mission 1) on YouTube