Celebrity Thinking Day

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"Celebrity Thinking Day"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 622
2012
Original Upload date February 22, 2012
Running time 0:03:34
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Wink submitted by MoreMisterNatMan
Great People
Guests: Chyna Pate
Featured Clones
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Chair vs Couch"
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"Wheezy Responds"

Video

Transcript

[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Happy World Thinking Day. [Shows Wikipedia information] That happens every February 22nd. It's celebrated by Girl Guides and Girl Scouts. But since I was a Boy Scout, I should probably do the opposite. Let's see. How do I turn off all thinking? Hmm. [Grabs remote and turns on TV. It's TMZ. TMZ murmurs about Miley Cyrus in the background as music plays and a vacant expression comes over Craig's face.] Ahh, there we go. Thoughts escaping. Exiting. Extricating. EXPLODING! [Explosion] My thoughts are back.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
So it's another weekly installment of EXPLOSION Wednesday. Don't get your hopes too high that it'll be every week, though. We're still trying it out to see if we wanna make it a permanent thing or not. We'll see. Don't wanna be like, Oh, Explosion Wednesday's a thing. What if people don't like it?
That's why websites have beta mode. Movies have test screenings. Joan Rivers wears a mask before she has permanent facial reconstructive surgery. [Picture of Joan Rivers onscreen] I hope that's the case. I mean, look at that. That makes mannequins think they're human.
You think this was Da Vinci's first attempt at the Mona Lisa? [Picture of Mona Lisa] No no no. First, he did the minimalist approach. [Stick figure drawing] Then he did the maximalist approach. [Fat Mona Lisa face] Then he did the Maximist approach. [Mona Lisa's face superimposed over a hot body with Maxim logo in the corner] Then he did the Max Headroom approach. [Mona Lisa face superimposed over Max Headroom's face.] Then he did the brooch approach. [Mona Lisa's face in center of a brooch] Then he did the stagecoach brioche reproach approach. [A picture of Mona Lisa giving a reproachful look superimposed over a brioche superimposed over a stagecoach]
Actually, without Photoshop, some of those are amazing.
[Maxim example again] How did he predict the exact body of Megan Fox?
Anyway, he's famous now, and you're not. Unless you are famous. In that case, I hope you're not Joan Rivers or the guy from TMZ. If you are, I'll assume you're the ones who thumbs-down this video.
And if you're in Breaking Bad, that show's awesome! Great work! And if you're in one of those CSI shows, [sighs] why don't you just go home? Watch Breaking Bad. Or Downton Abbey. Or, better yet, my parody of Downton Abbey.
[Blonde-wigged Craig/British clone, speaking in British accent:] Quite right.
[Black-wigged Craig/British clone, speaking in British accent:] Oh, quite right. Yes.
[Blonde-wigged Craig/British clone, speaking in British accent:] Quite right.
[Black-wigged Craig/British clone, speaking in British accent:] Quite right.
So what's with all this celebrity talk? Looks down. Pretends to not know. Oh, it's Celebrity Day! A day celebrated by Scientologists. [shows Wikipedia info]
If anyone deserves a day, it's celebrities. I mean, let's be dishonest.
Always scrutinized by the media. Can't leave their house without being adored by everyone.
Families all across America facing foreclosure are saying to themselves, "Man, I'm so glad I'm not George Clooney right now. Two Oscar nominations? So much pressure!"
But now, thanks to Scientology, we can set aside a day to appreciate these celebrities.
I haven't been thinking enough about Channing Tatum lately. [Cries] Who am I? I'm a monster!
So thank you, celebrities, for showing us how to dress, act, and think. [Info for World Thinking Day appears onscreen.] No, wait, Girl Guides and Girl Scouts tell us how to think. How do we combine the two? [gasps] Thank you, Shelley Long and Troop Beverly Hills. A phrase I never thought I'd say. That was a haiku. No it wasn't.
And today's also Wednesday. You're probably wondering why there weren't very many explosions. That's because I found this bridge being demolished over the Ohio River. [The video plays in a box onscreen.] Yeah. That's enough explosion for one video. Awesome.
[Sexy Clone enters in the background:] Today's also my birthday.
[Craig:] What?
[Sexy Clone:] I did a video a year ago called 'Sexy Clone.' I also talked about Celebrity Day, remember?
[Craig:] Oh yeah. I remember that.
[Sexy Clone:] Remember, I did this. [Pops his collar. Music plays.] A little bit of this. [Struts and turns a little.]
[Craig:] Yeah. I know. I... I... I saw... I remember.
[Sexy Clone:] A little... [sucks in his cheeks, making a pronounced kissy face as he dances, rotating his hips]
[Craig:] Okay. Example over. I get it.
[Sexy Clone claws at the wall:] Rawr.
[Craig stares, unimpressed.]
[Sexy Clone:] A little disco lighting. [Flicks lights on and off while dancing.]
[Craig:] I'm pretty sure I didn't have those lights back then.
[Sexy Clone:] A little towel action. [He pulls a towel between his legs.]
[Craig, looking unimpressed:] How is that sexy?
[Sexy Clone, rubbing towel over his head:] Remember? Remember this?
[Craig sighs.]
[Sexy Clone:] Remember?
[Wheezy Waiter outro]
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Chyna gets up from the couch and goes into the kitchen.]
[Craig:] So you were a Girl Scout?
[Chyna:] I was.
[Craig:] Are you gonna be doing some thinking today?
[Chyna, back in the kitchen:] Umm, more than usual?
[Craig:] What are you gonna think about?
[Chyna:] Think about... how handsome you are.
[Craig laughs:] Oh ho ho. That shouldn't take much thought. Hehehe. [Chyna laughs.]
[Chyna walks towards and past the camera. As she passes the camera, she asks:] Were you recording that?
[Craig:] Yes I was. [She laughs.]
[Chyna:] Jerk!

Recurring elements

singing rug, beardlovers, Wikipedia, Explosion Wednesday, British clone, Sexy clone, wink, outtakes

Related videos

The complete Downtown Abbey parody appears in McDonald's Goo.
Sexy Clone is referring to the video Sexy Clone from a year before.

External links

Celebrity Thinking Day on YouTube
Ohio River Bridge demolition video Craig plays in the video: Fort Steuben Bridge Demolition