[slides in/singing rug]
Hey beardlovers. Thanks for watching my sweet dance skills yesterday. Now I'll show you a move. What's that? You don't want one? Ear slap! [ear slap] Yes you do. Here's how you do a jazz square. Basically, you make a square with your feet. [Demonstrates] Cross, back, over, EXPLOSION! Explosion not required. And it's probably safer without it.
[Wheezy Waiter beard intro]
Apologies to those of you who couldn't watch yesterday's video because you were watching on a mobile device or you're in Germany, because there's a song in the video, and Content ID detected that might be a copyright issue even though Just Dance 2 cleared it with YouTube that it wouldn't be a copyright issue if the music was playing from a TV. [Graphic of a copyright symbol appears on screen] Copyright EXPLOSION. [And it explodes.] Did I just get rid of all copyright? We can do anything. Except for this, because I'm not sure if it's a thing. It's WEDNESDAY [explosion] ... it's WEDNESDAY [explosion] ... EXPLOSION [explosion] ... WEDNESDAY [explosion]!
So, today in Explosion News... [a clone enters in the background and sits down in front of the TV] clone, what are you doing?
[Clone:] I'm gonna wash TV.
[Craig:] Watch TV? There are chores to be done! EXPLOSION! [The clone's left arm explodes off.]
[Clone:] Oww! My arm! I said WASH TV! [holds up rag]
[Craig:] Oh.. oh well.... You got another arm. Get watching! Washing, I mean.
[Turns to camera] So in explosion news [shows article] "Body language to BOOST your career." Boost as in improve, not necessarily rocket boost. It's metaphorical. Unless your career is astronaut and your rocket is named Career. If that were the case, I bet you'd laugh about that a lot. And I'd laugh too. At you. For laughing at something that's not that funny. But then I'd shake your hand because you're an astronaut, are you kidding, that's AWESOME... BZZZ! Haha. I had a buzzer in my hand. But that's still cool that you're an astronaut. Anyway, article about body language to improve your career.
"Maintain eye contact." [Wheezy leans into camera, staring intensely at the camera with eyes wide open] That's an important one. Make sure you're always locked on the person you're talking to. Never look away. Never blink. Once in a while, say Hey, or Explosion [explosion]. That'll get their attention. EXPLOSION! Hey! EXPLOSION! Hey!
"Stand up straight and lean forward when seated." Leaning forward can be tricky [Craig leans very very far forward in his chair] because you may fall out of your chair [Falls out of his chair onto the floor]. Try to sit next to walls or another person that doesn't mind being touched. [Craig leans very far forward in his chair, bracing himself against the wall] and lean as far as you can. Hey! I want this job. Hey, sir. I want this job.
[Craig standing] Standing up straight is also important too. You want to be seen as "influential, powerful and a leader." If you're not used to it, try adding a counterweight. [To prevent swaying, Craig raises his right arm in something that very much resembles the Nazi salute] It helps maintain balance. Walk straight too. I try to maintain straight legs. [Wheezy takes a few steps with straight legs and his arm raised, now looks like a marching Nazi soldier]
"Use gestures and facial expressions." "Say what you feel and feel what you say." Honesty is important, and you want to convey that honesty compellingly. [gesturing wildly while speaking with intensity] I WANT THIS JOB!! I WANT THIS JOB!! [begins using sign language] I haven't had a job for a while. I feel like a loser. [points to his head, his heart, gives a thumbs-down] I cry a lot. [begins crying and points to his tears] I'm also really hungry. [rubs his stomach] For real. This isn't an example anymore. I'm actually really hungry. Japanese gyoza EXPLOSION! [suddenly holding a plate with two Japanese gyoza.] Ahh Japanese gyoza. This plate's boring. Dipping sauce FLARE! [And now there's dipping sauce on the plate] That's better. [Dips gyoza and eats]
So in other news, that big EXPLOSION in the sky that warms our planet... I think you know what I'm talking about... the star known as Kabdhilinan ... no wait, that's that K-type bright giant approximately 512 light years away in the constellation Auriga ... I was talking about the sun. Sun... Kabdhilinan... you understand the confusion. They're both just stupid stars. [The fiery sun enters the frame and looms over Craig.] Just kidding just kidding just kidding, I love you, sun! I love you, sun! See? [holds up a drawing] Even.. when I draw a picture of the rolling meadows, I draw you as a heart. See? See? [The sun retreats] Whew. I drew this picture for just such an occasion. Ssshhh!
Anyway, we can now see our sun on all sides. [shows article] "The stereo space-based observations have given us the first view of the entire sun on February 6 2011." [Craig looking at video of the sun on his monitor.] Oh yeah! Check out the curves on that! I hate to see you set, but I love to watch you spin. I don't know what that means. But that's reminiscent of another saying involving the butt of a human. [Video changes to a shot of sun over a city] Now I'm looking at a city. What's going on?
[Craig looking up out the window] I know all your secrets now, so why don't you step off, son? S-o-n, that's street talk. [The sun enters the frame] Whoa! Whoa! What you gonna do? You can't see the back of me! You can't see the back of... [A giant hand descends holding an iPhone and clicks a photo from behind Craig. The sun retreats.] The sun holds an iPhone? The sun has a hand?
[Viewer-submitted wink (ding)]
[Wheezy Waiter video game outro]
[Craig extremely close to the camera:] Hey! Hey! EXPLOSION! Hey! Hey! Hey! EXPLOSION!
Gotta remind you of a couple of things. Jacket is off because I'm serious. if you haven't gone to facebook dot com slash justdancegame and voted for me yet, please do it. We're in second place. I think we can win this just like we won the SuperNote competition. And if you've already voted and it wasn't for me, EXPLOSION of understanding. It's okay. I like you still.
And another reminder, if you'd like to get questions answered go to vyou dot com and follow my account. I've answered a lot of questions already. You can also follow the accounts of John Green, Hank Green, Elmify, or Nerimon. We formed an alliance called the Agents of Awesome. They're all linked down there in the doobly-doo.
See you again tomorrow, some time after the next Kabdhilinan rise. Sun.
[outtakes:] Bzz.. and then I'd have a buzzer. Bzzz... ahh, had a budd... Bzzz... had a budd... Butter... Had a butter... Had butter in my hand. Why... I was playing with butter. Sometimes I like to make butter castles. [clears throat] Bzzz.