[Craig pops up from under the frame, very close to camera]
Oh my goodness! It's another episode of Wheezy Waiter! Yaaaaaay!
[A small version of Wheezy Waiter beard intro happens inside Craig's open mouth. It disappears when he closes his mouth.] I just ate the intro. Oh no. Don't worry. It should pass through by tomorrow morning.
Now's the time when I interact with the audience.
redfluffykins writes [shows comment] "Do you ever interact with your audience?" No!
hangingwithNadine writes [shows comment] "Is it weird that I'm jealous of your counterclockwise flushing toilet? lol" That's not weird at all, Miss Hanging. In some countries, a counterclockwise flushing toilet is viewed as a delicacy. Countries such as [coughs]. LOL.
So if you're watching this video on Tuesday and thinkin' [turns to other camera angle:] "Wheezy Waiter didn't do a video on Monday! What??!! I hate him so much! Hate! Hate!"
[turns back] Well, it's not true. Not the hating me part. That might be true. That's probably true. But I did make a video on Monday. I was just a bit late and put it up last night. I can prove it. Here's me making it.
[title on screen: last night] [extreme closeup of Craig's mouse, which he's clicking and moving rapidly. Sped-up footage of Craig typing on keyboard. Extreme closeup of Craig's eyes which are darting left and right, up and down, and making a whooshing sound as they move.]
I have bulgy eyes. They cause a lot of wind when they move. [looks to his right and there's a whooshing sound again. Looks back to camera. Whoosh sound again.]
I was also up really late last night waiting for YouTube maintenance to be over.
[title on screen: ...later that night]
[Craig's on his computer] It's 12:30. I gotta get up early and do another video. YouTube still has maintenance. Why is this happening?!!! Why is this happening?!!!! This isn't a re-enactment. You see the dark window? [points at window] You see the pajama pants with the lion on it? [stands and points to his pants. sits again.] This is an enactment.
[bangs his head on his desk] [looks at camera, upset. suddenly smiles and waves]
But the video is up. If you missed it, be sure to go back and watch it. Before it watches you. Yeah. My videos do that. [eyes dart to the left and back to camera. whooshing sound.]
It's Ty Tuesday. Here's the second episode of Ty the Regular Guy.
[Ty sitting on a couch between two lamps. Music plays and titles appear as he speaks:] Hi. I'm Ty. I'm just a regular guy.
[Title on screen: The Dishes]
[Ty washes dishes, singing to himself as he washes a plate, a glass, and then a butcher knife. He puts the knife in strainer to dry and walks away.]
[Ty is back on the couch. Music plays and titles appear as Ty speaks:] I'm just a regular guy.
That is the best show within a show within the internet... within your mind... within the world. LOL. [Eyes dart to the side and back to camera. Whooshing sound as eyes move.]
[Paul (the winker):] Hey Craig. I was just eating chips and salsa [eats chips and salsa], getting drunk [drinking beer], making a deposit [throws change into the air], getting punched in the face [Paul clone hits Paul], traveling back in time [Paul in sunglasses stands next to Paul], listening to my mom [Paul as his hypothetical mother:] You're a *ding*up. when I realized [drinks from coffee mug, spits it out] I haven't sent a wink in to my favorite YouTuber. [holding beard logo to his chin, Paul winks (ding)] I guess now that I've remembered to do that, there's only one thing left to do. [prepares to slap slap bracelet] Woo!
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
This isn't a reenactment. You see the dark window? This is an actment. [text on screen: actment?]
[Craig's eyes dart around left and right, up and down, and make whooshing sound]
[Text on screen: Want to wink in a video? Make a video response.]