[Craig pops up from under the frame, very close to camera]
Oh my goodness! It's another episode of Wheezy Waiter! Yaaaaaay!
[A small version of Wheezy Waiter beard intro happens inside Craig's open mouth. It disappears when he closes his mouth.] I just ate the intro. Oh no. Don't worry. It should pass through by tomorrow morning.
Now's the time when I interact with the audience.
redfluffykins writes [shows comment] "Do you ever interact with your audience?" No!
hangingwithNadine writes [shows comment] "Is it weird that I'm jealous of your counterclockwise flushing toilet? lol" That's not weird at all, Miss Hanging. In some countries, a counterclockwise flushing toilet is viewed as a delicacy. Countries such as [coughs]. LOL.
So if you're watching this video on Tuesday and thinkin' [turns to other camera angle:] "Wheezy Waiter didn't do a video on Monday! What??!! I hate him so much! Hate! Hate!"
[turns back] Well, it's not true. Not the hating me part. That might be true. That's probably true. But I did make a video on Monday. I was just a bit late and put it up last night. I can prove it. Here's me making it.
[title on screen: last night] [extreme closeup of Craig's mouse, which he's clicking and moving rapidly. Sped-up footage of Craig typing on keyboard. Extreme closeup of Craig's eyes which are darting left and right, up and down, and making a whooshing sound as they move.]
I have bulgy eyes. They cause a lot of wind when they move. [looks to his right and there's a whooshing sound again. Looks back to camera. Whoosh sound again.]
I was also up really late last night waiting for YouTube maintenance to be over.
[title on screen: ...later that night]
[Craig's on his computer] It's 12:30. I gotta get up early and do another video. YouTube still has maintenance. Why is this happening?!!! Why is this happening?!!!! This isn't a re-enactment. You see the dark window? [points at window] You see the pajama pants with the lion on it? [stands and points to his pants. sits again.] This is an enactment.
[bangs his head on his desk] [looks at camera, upset. suddenly smiles and waves]
But the video is up. If you missed it, be sure to go back and watch it. Before it watches you. Yeah. My videos do that. [eyes dart to the left and back to camera. whooshing sound.]
It's Ty Tuesday. Here's the second episode of Ty the Regular Guy.
[Ty sitting on a couch between two lamps. Music plays and titles appear as he speaks:] Hi. I'm Ty. I'm just a regular guy.
[Title on screen: The Dishes]
[Ty washes dishes, singing to himself as he washes a plate, a glass, and then a butcher knife. He puts the knife in strainer to dry and walks away.]
[Ty is back on the couch. Music plays and titles appear as Ty speaks:] I'm just a regular guy.
That is the best show within a show within the internet... within your mind... within the world. LOL. [Eyes dart to the side and back to camera. Whooshing sound as eyes move.]
[Paul (the winker):] Hey Craig. I was just eating chips and salsa [eats chips and salsa], getting drunk [drinking beer], making a deposit [throws change into the air], getting punched in the face [Paul clone hits Paul], traveling back in time [Paul in sunglasses stands next to Paul], listening to my mom [Paul as his hypothetical mother:] You're a *ding*up. when I realized [drinks from coffee mug, spits it out] I haven't sent a wink in to my favorite YouTuber. [holding beard logo to his chin, Paul winks (ding)] I guess now that I've remembered to do that, there's only one thing left to do. [prepares to slap slap bracelet] Woo!
[Wheezy Waiter sunglasses outro]
This isn't a reenactment. You see the dark window? This is an actment. [text on screen: actment?]
[Craig's eyes dart around left and right, up and down, and make whooshing sound]
[Text on screen: Want to wink in a video? Make a video response.]
comments, alternate camera angle, Ty the Regular Guy, wink, outtakes
Paul's wink references many recurring elements in Craig's videos, including chips and salsa, "get drunk!", Sky Bank, clone, time travel, hypothetical mother, *ding*, slap bracelet.
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