Breakfast 5: Flock of Bagels

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"Breakfast 5: Flock of Bagels"
WheezyWaiter video
Episode no. Episode 93
Original Upload date January 9, 2009
Running time 0:01:57
Intro Wheezy beard intro
Outro outro
Wink submitted by WheezyWaiter
Great People
Guests: Mike Benedetto
Episode chronology
← Previous
"Breakfast 4: Bananarama"
Next →
"Breakfast 6: Smart Start My Heart"



[Wheezy Waiter beard intro with 'Wheezy Waiter' theme]
Good morning.
TGIF. Tactical Ground Intercept Facility. It's a US military intelligence collection platform. Sometimes, when I'm embarking on a new project, I like to say TGIF to invoke a sense of intelligence collecting in my mind.
Here's my other method. [pours and drinks coffee] Still, nothing.
My mother always told me, if you got nothing to say, talk about the weather and swear.
[Craig stands at the window as his hypothetical mother:] It's snowing like a mother*ding*er out there.
Consumatron writes "I just realized that there is a roll of toilet paper on the table by your closet. Is your toilet in your closet?"
I have a closet? [looks at the closet] Oh, you mean the bathroom? [preparing to unzip pants, walks toward closet, picks up toilet paper, exits frame. A flush can be heard, and Craig reenters frame from the direction of the closet, putting down the toilet paper he took with him.]
Oh boy... oooh, this stuff goes right through me. [sips coffee]
I gotta jiggle the handle. [gets up, walks into closet, out of frame, returns and sits as the toilet sound stops] That's better.
[pointing at his lips] You can tell I was drinking wine last night, can't you?
TGIFBF. Thank god it's Free Bagel Friday. Every Friday we have a big pile of bagels in the office. You might call it a flock of bagels.
["I Ran (So Far Away)" by Flock of Seagulls plays as Craig drives, shots of snowy street and highway, shot of bagels. Craig's boss walks up to the pile of bagels. Craig pulls him back, punches him, Craig's boss flies backwards, Craig grabs a bagel and walks to the toaster, puts the bagel in, sits down at his desk with the bagel, takes a bite, winks.]
[wheezywaiter dot com outro]
[outtakes: Craig's boss walks up to the bagels, Craig grabs him, throws a punch, Craig's boss falls (hardcore!), Craig checks on him before grabbing a bagel and walking away. Craig returns and asks:] Are you alright?

Recurring elements

breakfast puns, hypothetical mother, *ding*, comments, Free Bagel Friday, wink, outtakes


This is the first Free Bagel Friday.
This is the first video in which the beard intro is used with the 'Wheezy Waiter' theme from Kyle and Kristen's song. This would go on to be used as the intro into the year 2011.
This is also the first video in which Craig's hypothetical mother makes an appearance standing at his window, swearing away.

External links

Breakfast 5: Flock of Bagels on YouTube